Join us as we dive into Kyler's background and what experiences have helped shape him into the man he is today.
Hint, it's not Frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails.
Join us as we dive into Kyler's background and what experiences have helped shape him into the man he is today.
Hint, it's not Frogs and snails and puppy-dog tails.
📍 Hey everybody, this is Kyler, and I'm Tyler. Welcome to the Eiler Perspective. Alright, we're back for another episode.
No, that didn't feel right at all, did it? That was kind of weird. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, that's not really who we are. I like the growing pains of learning how to better a podcast as we go. It's kind of fun to hear yourself back and think how weird you are. Yeah, that was very show choir esque. Well, I guess it's par for the course then since we were both in show choir.
Yeah, believe it or not, it's kind of funny. You would not see us now and think, Oh yeah, those guys are for sure. It's so glad they could, they could definitely sing and dance. Those guys look talented. Oh my gosh. Oh man. Well, today guys, we're going to go ahead and talk to Kyler and get to know him a little bit better.
We went ahead and started an attempt on me and I just can't right now. I, so we're going to go ahead and. Talk about Kyler get to know him a little bit more. He's a very interesting man. He's done quite a few cool things in his life and and quite honestly, you know, Kyler is a hero and Not putting that lightly.
I know Kyler's gonna be humble You know hearing that and not acknowledge it, but the truth is Kyler is a hero. He's helped so many people in his life mentally, physically, he's saved people and he's helped people who are going through a hard time get through it. And I'm very grateful to call him my friend.
So, Kyler to get started you know, we, we could go the whole route of, of the religious group that we were raised in. You know, being born to goodly parents. I know you have amazing parents and, and they had a huge impact on you. I think to just kind of round it all together, what's the main lesson you've learned from your mom, main lesson you've learned from your dad, and then we can go ahead and carry it on from there.
Oh, that's a good question. First, I'll do exactly as you said, and refute the comment about me being a hero. There's many people that are like me, and I'm no special than them, but I do enjoy what I do, and I love helping people. I guess that's one of the core values. learned through the Boy Scout program and it's carried on throughout my life is how much I really enjoy helping other people.
The question regarding the things I learned most from each parent, which is a very interesting question because my father passed away nine years ago and it's not easy losing a parent. It's not easy losing a hero in your lifetime or someone that you really looked up to. The things I would say I learned most from my dad is I feel like I understand his perspective a lot more.
He was deeply philosophical without even having formal training in it. He was a very hard worker and he really passed on a lot of compassion. I remember, I actually have a tattoo on my side because of a phrase my dad used to always tell me and that was A Caradaggi Nunca Faglia. Which in Portuguese, hopefully I said that right, but in Portuguese it means charity never faileth.
And that's kind of the lesson that my dad passed on to me. With my dad passed, I've got a brother and three sisters and my mom's still surviving. Thank goodness. She is an absolute saint and she is the perfect example of service without question. She has She has an absolute huge heart and she is innocent to the core and sometimes I, I feel for her because when you have the passing of a parent, a lot of your friends or family will see traits that that parent specifically showed and a lot of people will say, wow, that's just like your dad and we'll even say it to each other and siblings like, wow, that's, that's something that dad used to do or dad used to say, or you remind me a lot of dad.
And sometimes I feel like that does my mom a disservice, because she's still alive and she hears all the good that we believe our dad passed on to us, when in actuality there's a lot of good she's passed on to us as well. But it's strange that in the world we live in, we don't acknowledge that more often with the living, and we tend to wait and tell their past before we acknowledge all the good traits they passed on to us.
So, I'd specifically like to let my mom know how much I love her. And how much I appreciate her. Interesting question though, because you talked about the religion we were raised in, and how it played a big part in our life. And I, as of recently, have deconstructed and, and stepped aside from that specific religion.
And, and I had a, I actually had a chat with my mother today, and told her how grateful I was for the way that her and my father raised me. Because in the line of work that I do, I see the worst in people and I hear the worst stories and around traumatic experiences. And I just can't believe how lucky I was that I got through a childhood without any serious traumatic events.
And to know how much has occurred in the religion I used to be associated with and how lucky I am that I got out unscathed. And I told my mom, thank you for providing a safe. Protected and loving home for a perfect childhood. I couldn't have asked for more. Yeah, as you were talking about that, Kyler, I I closed my eyes and just kind of was thinking about everything that you were saying.
And I remember going over to your house when we were kids and I just have a very, very vivid picture of your dad right now.
And Kyler's dad just had this huge grin. He was a very jovial person and Kyler definitely took that trait. He has that same huge smile and jovial personality. And as I sit here and I picture that, I don't know what it is or but I can just visualize your dad right now just
Might sound cheesy, but I see him holding like a pink valentine's balloon. And he just handed that over to you. Sharing his love to you. And I don't know what that is. I mean, I don't know why. When I was thinking about that, that's what I saw. But Tyler's definitely got that love and charitable personality that he gained from his father.
And Everything Kyler's chose to do in his life is in the service of others. Always. Since the time I've known him, everything that he does is not for himself. He literally lives to serve and help others. And that's an amazing trait that I can see reflected from his father. And when you guys see a picture of Kyler, you'll understand the jovial smile, that big grin.
And thinking about, you know, the barbecue rub that your dad had, the secret recipe. I wish that you still had that. That was amazing. It was so freaking good. Yeah, he was a master of barbecue, that's for sure. Yeah. I also want to comment, Kyler, on your mom. Like, you know, it's easy to see you look like your dad, and you have similar expressions as your dad.
It's harder to see a mom and a son once you get older. But the way that you and your mom think, when you're in a deep thought, you make the same expressions and faces. And the way that you interact with others in a gentle, kind manner without Negative expression, right? Like, you guys communicate in a very similar way.
You have the larger than life expressions from your dad, and you have the meek, humble, caring expressions from your mom. And I think that's what makes you so good at your profession, is you're able to open people up in a way that only your parents can in each of their unique ways, and you harness both of those traits to make you successful.
I really appreciate that. Thanks for saying that I will. I will touch on a few things that I heard you say, like, and we'll, we'll learn more about this as I tell my story about my deconstruction, but I know more now than ever that my father is one of my guardian angels and the experiences I've had since his death have been He's very mighty for me and life changing and I feel like I've been on a better path now than I ever had before, both spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, I'm still working on it, but you know, I still got that trait, those traits from my dad, my physical looks.
But I know he watches over me and I know he's. He surrounds me a lot, but let me let me explain a little bit. And you, you touched on my profession. Let me explain how I got to that because I never grew up thinking I was going to be a police officer. I grew up with the intention of being a doctor or a cowboy or something else, something, something in the military.
But I remember my dad was in sales his whole life and was really, really good at it. He was very much a people person. He was a really great communicator. But I remember on his deathbed, I was working as a jewelry store salesman. I was slinging bling. And I went to my dad's deathbed and before he passed, well, we were really lucky because we, he had diabetes and he was on dialysis, so when he decided to go off dialysis, We knew it was a matter of weeks before he would pass.
So I was really lucky in the instance of knowing he was going and was able to have a lot of really good conversations before he passed, which is not a experience that most people get. So I was, I was lucky in that instance. And I remember asking him, you know, if there's one thing you could do differently in your life, what would that be?
And his response to me at the time was, you know, I, I have no regrets other than I wish I would've had a, a profession that helped people. Whether a police officer or a teacher. I damn well knew I wasn't going to be a teacher. So I decided to dedicate my profession to law enforcement for my dad.
And so I, I went full steam ahead into law enforcement to pay tribute to my father. And to try to do the things that he regretted so I didn't have the same regrets. I remember on his deathbed I told him, I tried to confess to him without fully confessing to him, but I told him, you know, you're about to die and you're about to learn a lot of things about me that I never told you.
And I hope that you still love me after finding out all the things that I did. I was a good kid. I didn't get into any trouble, but we all have our Dumb decisions that we make as a kid, and I might tell some of those stories. They're pretty hilarious. My dad was basically a cop without being a cop. He was a professional interrogator.
Not really, but he knew how to interrogate someone and intimidate them. But right before he went nonverbal and wasn't able to talk to me anymore, he said, I don't care what you did, but I'm incredibly proud of you. And I want you to know that no matter what, I'm proud of you. And that was the last thing he said to me before he went non verbal.
Wow. That's That's emotional, Kyler, and You know, I feel very lucky that I haven't had to experience the loss of a parent. Physically. I'm so grateful that you were able to have that experience to have those closing words. And love from your dad and you know he's still there for you. You mentioned that you know that he is, he's there with you, guarding you and your guardian angel.
And I, I definitely believe that he's, he's around you and in some form or another, and very grateful for that for you and you know, the stories that you share about your dad and your family. And yeah, thank you for sharing that story with us. I know it's not. easy to talk about for you. Well, we could spend hours telling stories, but we'll make these episodes short and we will definitely share more stories about a lot of the experience I've been through.
One of my, one of my big goals for this podcast specifically is just to be able to provide a voice for both of us to be able to express kind of keep a live action journal for our kids so that they can hear our voices.
I'm very willing to pull back all my masks and be very authentic because I want this to be something that you can listen to and, and gain inspiration, or you can listen to and, and know you're not alone because that's a big part of my message or to listen to for a good laugh and a fun story. And I know that as you listen to Tyler and I talk, You're going to, I know you're going to fall in love with us because we're just way too good at people and we have a real good time together.
Yeah, man. Guys, Kyler has got so many stories to share, so many things to hear from him. I want to touch back on something you had mentioned, Kyler, just because I think that it all ties together and who you are. So you, you've told us. Lessons from your mom, lessons from your dad, the impact that played on you.
Something else you've mentioned is that you've deconstructed from the religion you grew up in, and, and, you know, having grown up in that same faith, it plays a massive impact in your life. And, you know, there's a lot of people who will say, you know, these people can leave the church, but they can't leave it alone.
Well, it's because it's been your life for 30 years. Like, how do you leave that alone? If you lived in another country for 30 years, You're going to carry on things about that, and you're going to talk about it, the good and the bad, because that's where you lived, and that's where you grew up. And it's not any different growing up in your faith, because that becomes your culture.
How would you leave that alone? You, don't. It's always going to be part of you. So I wanted to ask you the positive things, right? Like, I don't want to focus on reasons why you deconstructed right now. I want to focus on the good things that you learned from that faith, and how it has impacted you to where you are now, and how that ties in with teachings from your parents.
Now I'm going to get really emotional because it was who I was for so long. And as a kid, I'll, I'll admit that I went to my mom and asked her how I could be an apostle because that was one of that was one of my spiritual goals is that I wanted to be an apostle. Real quick, an apostle is.
Basically the top level of leadership and authority in the LDS church. So it'd go the prophet, you know, similar to peter and then he would have you know His counselors and then the full quorum of the 12 apostles who you know lead and direct the church so kyler wanted to be up there like a james and a john Yeah, and then it sounds crazy.
So I was a member of the church of jesus christ latter day saints the mormon church the mormons Lds, whatever you want to call them I still have a lot of family and friends that are a part of that religion and I have no hate or towards them. I just know with the things that I've learned and the things that I've studied, spiritually speaking, I've outgrown that religion for me.
And I seek a higher and holier purpose and a more direct communication with our God, our deity. And I've had just as great Spiritual experiences both inside and outside the church, but to make it very clear, the church was everything to me growing up. I, all I knew was that I wanted to be a missionary and I made sure that I didn't do anything that would keep me from serving a mission.
My whole goal growing up was to, to go be a missionary for the church or go serve for two years. proselyting Jesus Christ and teaching people about Jesus Christ. For one funny story, because my mom told me, you know, if you want to be an apostle when you're raised, you've got to listen to everything your parents tell you.
You've got to be exactly obedient. And one thing she scared into me at a very young age is if you get in trouble with police officers, you will never go on a mission. So here's a funny story for you. I'm in high school. I'm Dating a girl. We go to a high school dance. And during the high school dance, we decide to have an impromptu silly string war.
It was just stupid. We went and bought a bunch of silly string from a dollar store and just so happened her house was right across the street from the high school that we went to. So we left the dance and we went and had a silly string fight in our front yard. Well apparently some people saw us silly stringing each other and thought that we were Causing damage to a house or silly stringing a house.
Oh my gosh. And so the cops are called on us. It's our house Yeah, and it was one of those dances, you know when you were raised in Utah You have some silly dances where you you match each other. Yeah, and so you have matching outfits with you're like a morp yeah, yeah something like that and and I remember the cops coming in lights and sirens to the front of the house like they came in It felt like very, very hard and fast.
It was, it was very scary. And I remember I took off. I ran so fast. I, and I was, and I was fit back then. You wouldn't believe it, but I was fast. And I ran around the block and jumped the fence and I was hiding. I went into her backyard, into her living room and hid in the living room. And all of a sudden I got a text from her and she was like, well, where the heck are you?
You ditched her? Oh, I ditched her. You left her to talk to the cop by herself? No, everyone else from the dance was there. Okay, there was other, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was our whole group. But here's the problem. Our problem was is that our dance, everyone had matching outfits. So when the cop showed up, they put everyone into matching pairs.
And she's like, where's your date? And she had no idea. I just left her high and dry. But I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to go on a mission if I got in trouble with the police. That it caused me to run. Like it was such a visceral reaction. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Cause that's So I grew up, my dad was a police officer.
And so anytime the cops came I just fell at home. Like I think growing up I was pulled over like 15, 16 times. And I only got one ticket. Because I was just so comfortable. People think you have to be all defensive with cops. Just be nice. Just be you. Just be you. Be nice. That's hilarious. So, you wanted to go on a mission.
You did go on a mission. Yes. Where did you go? I went to Uganda, Kampala, Africa. It was perfect for me. It was so amazing. Still to this day I would, I would turn around and go back on a mission. Like it was, it was that good. I, I had the best mission president. And I had awesome campaigns except for one that I would, or one or two maybe.
But for the most part it was the best experience. I loved my mission. That's awesome. What made it perfect for you? I spent 24 7 helping other people. It was like I found who I was. I was able to completely forget myself and just go to work, and that's where I'm the happiest, when I'm helping other people.
So, for two years, I didn't have to worry about paychecks, or work, or, or anything like that. I could just go out and help people, and that's what I was absolutely best at. So, if I'm hearing things right here, Kyler, it sounds like to me, from your dad, you learned charity and love. From your mom. You learned, you know, keeping things orderly, respecting others meekness, humbleness from the church.
It sounds like you learned how to serve similar to charity, but you learned how to serve. That's like the root that you got out of that is to love everybody and to serve those people because that's going to bring true Joy in happiness. Is that accurate? Oh, absolutely. And I mean, you have all those scriptures that talk about that.
You're only in the service of your God if you're in the service of your fellow beings. Mm-Hmm. . And you should lay down your life to serve those around you. Yeah. A hundred. The, the, you love God and then you love your neighbor. Yeah. I remember we did timberline together, like we talked in the last episodes boy Scouts of America camp.
And I remember you talking about wanting to join the military so you could do exactly that, serve your fellow man and give your life down for your neighbor. While you didn't serve in the military your line of work, you do that every single day. You put your life on the line and I want to thank you for that.
And just let you know, like, the peace of mind that that gives, you know, my family as well. They know that there's good people out there looking out for us. And if anything was to go down or bad happen that you would instantly be there in the line of fire to help anybody but also knowing that hey, you know, our good friend is there and he would Be right here to help us is is very comforting and so thank you.
Thank you. Yeah, you bet Or i'm just crazy enough to do it. That's what I tell people They they send cops through Psych evaluations, psychiatric evaluations. I don't think it's to see if they're normal I think it's to see if they're just crazy enough to want to do this job because it takes a special Special kind of stupid to be willing to to do that and just be completely selfless Yeah, which is tough and it's tough to find good people that are willing to do that very brave men and women Our police officers, I think that there are Way more good officers than there are bad.
I'll acknowledge for those, I, I know there's many of you who maybe, you know, don't agree with police officers or don't like them. Because the ones who do the negative things end up in the news. It's not the ones who are the superheroes. Like I talked about Kyler being, they often aren't in the news unless they are lost their life in the line of duty.
And I'm glad that you're still here, man. So you've learned a lot, obviously, from your parents. You've learned from the church, and I know there's way more lessons you've learned from the church. But needless to say, it had a positive impact on your life. All three of those things have led you to your current spot where you're a police officer.
But I know that that's not who you are. That's just simply an aspect of what you do. Because who you are is a loving, caring, charitable servant to those around you. That's who you are. You just happen to be a police officer as well. Yeah, absolutely. I think, I think one of the hardest things about talking to people and understanding their perspective and seeing who they really are is that a lot of people like to put themselves into boxes of what they've done, addictions they've had, what people tell them they are.
And it's totally different when you realize that What you do and who you really are is two very separate things. Something that I really love in regards to philosophy is at the base of a statue it says, Know thyself. And I think that's the most important thing that anyone can do in this lifetime is to learn who you really are.
Not what you do, not what people see in you, but who you are. And once you realize who you are and the divine potential you have, You unlock incredible potential, and you can change so much, but it all comes down to looking into yourself, cleaning your own perspective, and finding out what resonates most with you to be the best you that you can be.
And that's the most important part. How do you do that though, Kyler? Like, everybody wants to know themselves, right? Like, you, Going through high school, you're trying to learn who you are. As soon as you graduate high school, then you go into college, or you enter the workforce, and you're trying to learn who you are.
Then you become a, a husband, and you're trying to learn who you are. Then you have kids, you're trying to learn who you are. How do you actually do it? I think it has to do with a analogy I'll give you. This is, this is a good analogy. I've, I've been using this a lot recently, because as I'm getting older, I realize that my eyesight is getting worse, and I go to the eye doctor, you know, to make sure that I can still see because that's important.
And something that I really like when I go to the eye doctor is, the eye doctor knows what's best for me. I have a perspective and I see what I see and think is best for me. The doctor is completely unbiased. He doesn't care what kind of prescription you're going to have. He just wants you to be able to see you the best that you can see.
When you go to the eye doctor, you're completely unbiased. You sit there and he'll give you plenty of options. He'll say, one or two, which one looks better? A or B, which one looks better? You know, and you go through all these different options and knobs and twists and turns and flips of the big giant machine they put on your face.
And all it is, is what helps you to see clearly. And what resonates most with you. So that you can journey through this perspective, something that I've learned in my deconstruction is that I think it's absolutely imperative that we keep ourselves in a state of mind that allows some fluidity fluidity, and allows us to be open to look at all perspectives and all avenues when we allow ourselves to be open and listen to different perspectives.
Things and be willing to weigh things out for you, yourself, and find out what resonates best with you and helps you see clearly. It's going to change your perspective, and it's going to allow you to be the best you can be. And that's going to change. Just like you said, when you're going through high school, it's an imperative time.
There's a lot of things happening to you. You're trying to learn yourself and your surroundings, and it's crucial. And I'll talk to that a little bit in later episodes. you go through high school, you go through your mission, you come back from your mission, you get married. Sometimes you get divorced.
Sometimes you get remarried. Sometimes you have kids, you know, there's, there's a lot of changes in your life. You go through a lot of different things that will cause your perspective to change. And just from now and 10 years ago, I'm a totally different person, but that's because I allowed myself the grace and the opportunity.
to be open to the master's hands. And if I felt like I needed change, I was willing to look at different perspectives until it resonated with me. One of my really favorite podcasters I listened to always like to say, find your vibe, find your tribe. And so it's one of those things that it'll change and things will get better and worse.
And if you feel like you're not being who you are, Stop, take a second and go to your eye doctor, whether that's meditation or, or a best friend or a spouse that can help you see clearly. Yeah. So, you know, as you're talking about that, you know, you go to the eye doctor, like you mentioned, they give you a prescription and then that prescription is right for you.
But then you can go back in a year and it might be different. You have to go through another set of, tests until you get that right prescription and that's what Kyler and I have found in our lives, right? We have a new prescription or perspective that will be given to us or that we'll gain and that new perspective changes your way of life sometimes in small ways, sometimes in very large ways.
You know, a faith deconstruction, a career change being a better parent, being a better spouse, a better son. And life is all about changing your perspective and aligning it with your core values and who you are at that moment. Life changes. Experiences happen. Like Kyler said, a divorce might happen.
You might get remarried. You might lose a loved one. You might get hurt. You might have an injury. You might get laid off. All of these things are going to change your perspective and who you are at that moment. Don't give up. Look in, reflect upon yourself and find who you are and apply that into your life and you're going to find more joy.
Don't try and squeeze a square block into a circle hole, right? You don't have to apply who you are now to who you were when you were eight years old. Right. You can be whoever you want to be. You don't have to stay in your same place. Look for that growth. Look for that opportunity to love and help others and you will find yourself.
I think that's our message to you. Be willing to open your eyes, look at new perspectives, look at new things. And no matter what happens, there's always, there's a, there's 8 billion people on the planet. There's always someone you can talk to and someone you can resonate with. And if nothing else, I'm always willing to listen to anyone.
I love hearing people's perspectives. I'm open to having true love for everyone and giving them the opportunity to be who they are and loving them for that. So. To all of our listeners, the world is a better place with you in it. Absolutely. Well everybody, thank you so much for spending your time with us today.
Can't wait to chat with you next time. Talk to you later.