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Welcome back you guys. I if you're listening to this consecutively, then you made a tap. So three, congratulations. Yeah, we've kind of got the structure of wanting to do an initial introduction of both Kyler and I, and then do an individual one. And so today as they say in Spanish, it touches me.
It's my turn.
I'm glad you know, Spanish because I don't. So that's pretty dang funny. So today we're going to learn a lot more about Tyler. We tried to do this in a previous episode and we were both just like, not in the right place to do it. I was nowhere. Close to being prepared to ask any sorts of questions.
And really wasn't exactly sure how we were going to go about this.
So. Hopefully I've prepared better this time. Anyways, this is Kyler and I'm here with Tyler and this is the Isler perspective. Sweet. We'll just dive right into it. All right. What, how would you, how would you describe yourself, Tyler? For our people at home to know more about you. Yeah. I think first and foremost, I am a husband. I'm a father. I'm a brother. And I'm a son.
Those are who I am. Everything. do or have done in my life. Is for those relationships. That I have, I do. You know, and obviously for myself as well. I don't want to pass that out. I take care of myself, but. The decisions I've made in my life and the past I've taken the careers choices that I've made have all been for those different relationships that are the formative parts of me.
Relationships are pretty important to you then. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's the whole point of life. Like. We are not here to work. We're not here to. Wander. We are here too. Build connections with others. And. The four that I mentioned are the four.
Key relationships in anybody's life. And so those are important because. If you don't harness and nurturing relationships and build those connections with others, in my opinion I don't know why I would want to. Like be here. Like what else would I be doing? And to be fair, right? You can nurture other relationships.
For example, when I went to Chile and I got to meet other people and, and learn those relationships and meet those individuals, I learned so much from them. So the point I'm saying is. Building relationships with other individuals. Is important and. Is something that I love to do. I remember when I came back. From Chile as just wondering, you know, how do I go and meet everybody in the world?
I wish I could meet everybody and learn everybody's story. And Because you learned so much from those people that you can take a part of their story, a part of their lessons that they've learned and apply it into your life. That's one of the really cool things I like about you, Tyler, and something that I'll take a moment to brag about you is just how absolutely resilient you are and how amazing you are building relationships. Like I I've known you for a long time and I think it's incredible how well you can communicate with people and how you can easily. Build such a quick relationship with, and I think the biggest thing that I've learned from you is your resiliency. You've gone through a lot of trials in your life and a lot of things that hit you in different directions and Incredibly impressed with how resilient you are, because it's just, it's not easy having those relationships or those titles, or traveling to different countries and learning different cultures.
And. Different religions and everything else. It's just, it's just really impressive to me. To see how you're almost like Neo from the matrix. Like. Things get shot at you and you just, you just go with the flow. You, you were able to. To do, like they say in dodgeball Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and Dodge.
So. I'm always a. Incredibly impressed with your resilience. Bringing up that, w what would you say are some of the key points in your life that molded you to become resilient and to have those traits? Yeah. There's a, there's a few points and I'll touch on those. And, you know, we can decide if we want to dive into any of them, but I'd say.
You know, and this is kind of a vague point, but my, my young childhood, right.
I was able to. Truly. Grow like my parents, let me go out and build forts and disappear and go ride my bike several blocks, if not miles away. Right. Like I was able to explore. My limits to it, to an extent. And have a genuinely fun childhood. I stepped on tons of nails. I smashed my hat. My thumb with a hammer.
I had a rock thrown on me while I was turning down a river. Like. I was able to have a fun outdoorsy childhood. And, and that's something that most people don't get anymore. No, it's not right. Like we, we had the privilege of growing up here in Utah and. You know, there's that sense of security, although it may be false. We had that sense of security and I rode my bike to my friend's house several miles away and would ride my bike back home at the end of the day.
And. I didn't have a phone. Right. I, I had a time that I had to be back and if I wasn't back then I was in trouble. But having that freedom was, was really nice. And Helped form the beginning roots of me. And then I think also the interest that eventually became you know, the boy Scouts.
I had a really good group of guys that I was able to go through scouting program with. And a lot of people will laugh at the scouting program, but for me and the group that I was with, it was incredible. I learned so many skills and attributes and love for nature and the outdoors that eventually led to my. Education and recreation management, but. And that's why I say like my childhood, right.
That was a formative part of who I am that I've carried on throughout my life that I want to. Carry on for my, for my children and have them be able to do the same thing. So that would be probably the first point.
The next is when I chose to go on a. LDS mission. I'm kind of hinted at that earlier. I was called to serve in Chile. And spent two years there. And.
That was a total perspective shift for me. Prior to going. To south America.
One learning where Chile was. There was a fun connection there. I actually, in a first or second grade we had pen pals. My pen pals and Chile. Oh, that's cool. Enough. I don't remember anything about it, but I just remember. Chile. Cause I remember laughing about, Hey, it's food.
But getting the ability to serve the people in Chile was extremely special to me. For a couple of reasons. One of my good friends, Julian. His parents at the time didn't speak English. And so I had this relationship with Julian and his parents, but I can never really speak with them and had to go through an interpreter, which was Julia nurse sister.
And. I loved them. But I couldn't express myself. And so being able to go and learn Spanish was extremely exciting because, Hey, I'd be able to go ahead and foster that relationship with my friend's parents. It was extremely exciting. But then I got to also do that with everybody down there and.
Man. When you are dropped off in another country and you don't know that language. I literally felt like I was on another planet. It was insane. I remember. Riding home. And saying, I. I don't know where I am. I don't know what they're saying. Everything's completely different. Everything looks different. And then processing.
I've got to be here for two years.
How in the hell. Am I going to be here for two years? It was exciting, but also processing that two years is a long time. That was a daunting and that that realization didn't come until you're already in country. Oh yeah. Because when you're, before you go for those who don't know if anybody's listening that doesn't you go to, what's called the missionary training center and you study a language.
If you've been called to serve a language, if not, then you're, you're studying gospel topics. And you went to Provo, right? Yeah, I was in Provo. It was actually really rough because I, from my room where we studied, I could actually see the windmills here in Spanish fork. And I lived right below the windmills.
And so I was essentially every day. Looking and seeing my home for. I think it was three months, it was brutal. And it was honestly like jail. Yeah, I don't, I don't know how you could do that because I was luckily enough not to ever hit the Provo MTC. I went straight to South Africa. And I had that realization when I was on a flight over the middle of nowhere, Africa. Yeah, on a 13 hour flight, then I was like, oh, this is for two years. Yeah. I have no idea what I'm doing.
Oh yeah. But I don't know. I couldn't even imagine being in the Provo one and just being able to see where you grew up and. Knowing that you driven past. That in the missionary training center. So often as a kid, that was the hardest part. Honestly, like there was some really good times in the MTC. I won't lie.
Like there was a lot of funny experiences and stories that maybe we should share one day, but. Yeah, seeing home was really rough. But then once I got to the country and I was like, oh, I don't know as much Spanish as I thought I did.
I have no idea what these people are saying at all. You. Just new provost, Spanish. I knew the provost Spanish will not eat. Not only that, but like even my friends who are native Spanish speakers from Mexico or Guatemala, they struggled understanding Chileans. In fact, when I became a senior companion. In the mission field and was, was good at Spanish. I would get, you know, new companions who are native Spanish speakers, who did not know what their plans were saying.
And I had to interpret basically for them. And so if you put that in perspective, as you know, I'm this little white kid coming into to this totally other culture and learning this lit language, it was, it was a shock because. Chilean Spanish. They what they say and their languages that they eat, the ends of the words they don't fully pronounce. Or So, for example, the word fish is Scotto.
When they say it, they say Pasco. So you're basically learning a new language because they don't say everything. They just say the beginning part of it. But. That aside right. Going through. The different companionships or coal missionaries that I had with me, I learned so much from each and every one of them. I had to have the Heimlich done on me while I was out there actually choked.
And while I was getting food in our apartment and. Thank God I was with. The biggest companion I had because none of the other ones would have been able to help me, like he was for sure. The only companion who would have been able to give you the Heimlich. Save my life. Shout out to Burgess. That was crazy. Yeah. Keeping Tyler around. But. The reason I say the mission is not only because of this formative portion of, of relationships and meeting new people and understanding and learning a new culture. But there was a key moment.
I just had the second area of my mission. And we were doing amazing. Amazing work. I learned from Burgess that. The mission work wasn't about numbers, but it was about loving the people. And if we can actually help them and provide them something of value to help them. Great. We're not going to push the numbers. And I live by that, my entire mission.
I wasn't a numbers missionary. When I got our second mission president, he was a numbers missionary at drove me crazy because the first one. He had a saying with love, we work in the garden of God.
And that was the focus on everything. There was not a hard limit on time. In people's homes, it was loved them. Listen to that love and figure out how to help. Anyways in the second area. I feel like I fostered that. To the massive extent and we were doing so well. The ward and everybody loved us. We were doing great.
Basically rambling.
Cause I don't want to talk about this next portion.
Well, I I'll cut you off really quick because I see you. I see this means a lot to you as you get a little bit emotional about it, going back into that memory. Differentiating numbers from relationships and the love, like you said, It's interesting because you work in professions where you're in. You know, international sales. And there's a lot to do with numbers.
How do you think your perspective changes changed? When you realized, you know, It's not necessarily about the numbers more than it is about the people. In cells? No, no, no, no. On your mission, like. Obviously they want you to be productive and their easiest way that they can see productivity is through numbers. But once you realize that it wasn't about the numbers, it was about the connections that you're making with people. How did that change your perspective on your mission? Yeah.
So honestly that perspective was really right towards the beginning. Right? When I was a brand new missionary, I was talking to Burgess. He was my trainer. Right at the beginning, Hey, like we need to have better numbers. And that's when he really focused on loving the people. And I think the perspective was I'm doing this for God. I'm not doing it for an organization. And I think that's why my first present really, you know, mentioned with God who work or with love.
We work in the garden of God, because we're doing that. For God and God's children.
When it's focused on numbers, you realize you're doing it for an organization. And it doesn't feel genuine. It doesn't feel authentic. And you're genuinely start to wonder why you're there.
And so even though that next president was all numbers focused, like I couldn't be. Obviously everybody keeps track of, you know, how many baptisms did I get? How many people that I helped. But when I think back on my mission, I don't even remember how many baptisms I had, but I do remember the relationships. Even with people who weren't baptized because they had an impact. And I'm still friends with those people on social media.
I'll still talk with those people. Even the ones who I didn't baptize, right. Because I built strong relationships with these individuals. And I feel I had a positive impact on their life. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.
But the real. I guess that can count as 0.2, right? Is those relationships. I'm going to have more than four points. Okay. Oh, I didn't even ask for four points. Cool. Building those relationships, harnessing them, fostering them, growing them. Huge.
After we had that most success. You know, it seems like in life, Once you have success and you're on a massive uphill, there always seems to be. A fall.
Oh, God.
When I was in that area, I got a
Email. As a missionary, you're able to write emails once a week.
At least at that time.
And I got an email that my mom had.
Tried killing herself.
And then my brother had found her.
But then she was in the hospital and she was.
Stable, but it was uncertain for a minute.
And all I could think about was my brother and sister.
Aye.
I'd always been like an anchor there for them. And I was no longer there. I couldn't help them. I can only write them once a week, can even give them a call. Couldn't even give him a damn phone call.
I called. I mission president. He offered me to give them a call, but I couldn't call them. Weekly. I couldn't give them that continuous support. I got one phone call.
And I talked to them and my dad and. I talked through the situation and I was devastated.
My mom and I had. A great relationship growing up.
And. I was so scared.
In fact, I told my mission president that I was done. I wanted to go home. And in the meeting he said, but what are you going to do? Like, what are you actually going to do for them? Was this your first Mr. President or your second one? My first one. Okay.
What are you actually going to do for them? If you want to go home, I understand, but what are you going to do for them? And what is it going to do to you? And I genuinely appreciate this and it might sound cold, but. You know, he talked about. Me that this was the one point in my life where. I needed to focus on myself and what was going to be most beneficial for me. And.
That. Serving others. And loving people here and helping them here. They're referring to Chile.
Would likely lead to. The better result in the end. For me. And I agree with that. How did I, how did I come home?
I mean, everything went to shit after that. Like, I would've just been in the mix of a bunch of shit. And I do not. I believe I would be where I am today. How'd I come home. At the same time. I, there are some regrets. I know that my siblings have held a little bit of resentment towards me. My mom even. It's been held as like a trigger to me that.
I don't even know what it was like, and that I can't have issues with what happened because I wasn't there.
I was thousands of miles away, alone. Yeah. I mean, that's one of the biggest things that's kind of scary about this situation, you know, your. You're on a different continent, a different country. He don't know the language. You're, you're there with no real access to come home. No opportunity. Unless someone gives you the permission to yeah. At that time it was different.
We could only write home once a week. We could only call home twice a year. We know those rules have changed since then. Now missionaries are, they have their own cell phones and they're calling home once a week, which is wild to me because I know for my mission, it was absolutely pivotal that I had that separation for my family. Yeah, that I could learn about myself and grow. How would you, how would you feel like that would be differently?
Do you, do you think it would have benefited you more, having more communication with your family during that, that major trauma or. Do you think what was, what happened was the best for you? You know, it's so hard.
Part of me says it was good. Pardon me? Says it was bad. And the reason is. I, it was good because I was able to forget. And kind of push it aside and focus on myself and learn and grow.
Because it wasn't just blaring you in the face. Exactly. But at the same time, it taught me a bad habit or skill set. You know, you talk about being like Neo and just trying to roll with those punches. It can look good and helpful on the outside, but. There's always the pain and damage that it's causing internally. And I'm really good at pushing things off and just ignoring them and going with the flow.
As you said, And you probably do something similar to what I do or it's like you know, that's a problem, obviously, but that's a later Kyler or a later Tyler problem. If it's not an immediate concern that I have to address right now, I can push it to the back burner and we'll wait to see how it is. When I need to cross that bridge eventually when we get there.
Yeah, exactly where that can be helpful. And it's good to obviously prioritize things, but.
That was one that I probably need a therapy for. And I did go to a therapist. Church therapist, they offered you on your mission. I, they didn't offer it, but I told them I needed it. Okay. I went once. Never went back again. Really, I talked to the therapist.
They told me.
Mom, if you listen to this, I'm sorry. They told me that my mom. Was the issue. And that
I don't remember the exact terms it was, but that pissed me off. I was like, fuck you. The issue. Yeah. And then the advice that they gave me. Was to read scriptures. I was a missionary Kyler. I read scriptures all day, every day. There was nothing else I did. Yeah, you have three hours to do it every day and then you're sharing it with everyone.
You. So, how is that going to be the therapeutic treatment? I was pissed. I never wanted to see a therapist again. I don't blame that. I asked one of the points in my life where I needed help. Absolutely. And the answer was scriptures. Are you kidding me?
Anyways. The rest of my mission. Wasn't the same. It was really hard. I did end up training somebody right after that, which helped me kind of get out of the groove of things out of the funk. There's a, there's a lot of other stories that. They'll follow. You know, that I'd love to talk about mission story someday.
Oh yeah.
But one of my biggest fears when I went on my mission. Was that my parents will get a divorce. And. When I went on my mission, I was. Why was that a fear before you left on your mission? Because they had fought a lot. They had talked about it. There's some. Family things that I'm not going to devote to the story that had come out That made it tough. But I'd been given a blessing. That if I serve faithfully on my mission. That my family would be taken care of. And then my parents' relationship would mend.
Oh, I
didn't. Yeah, I worked my ass off. Oh, I bet.
And then I'm sure it put a lot of pressure on your shoulders feeling like, you know, there's something that you're not doing enough of because you're watching this stuff happen at home. That in actuality has nothing to do with. Your correlation to the work? Nothing. Nothing at all, but I believed it. Absolutely. That's all we knew at the time.
That's all he knew. Yeah, it was magic. And if I did it, it would work. And I was so torn apart as I was seeing my family just rip to shreds. I found out my brother ended up leaving or was sent to go live with my aunt and uncle. My little sister was home. In the middle of it. My parents got a divorce. And she was alone with my dad. And my dad was going through hell. And, you know, I can't blame him, but he wasn't present.
My little sister was by herself, raising herself as like a 12 year old.
I was torn apart again, once again, wanted to go home, but I like, you know, there was nothing that I could have done truly.
Again, I love. Chile. I love the people there. I would never want to serve at mission again. But I loved the people. I would love to go live in another country and be able to serve people. Absolutely, but not, not teach the gospel and be restricted to specific schedules. Yeah. But as soon as I got home Kyler,
I Let's pick up at the airport for my whole family. I was stoked. Your whole family was there. Whole family was there. I was so happy because I didn't think that would happen. But everything was different. Like you could see the difference between my parents. You could feel that the awkward tension. My little sister had grown up where they already separated by that time.
Yeah. Yeah, just wait. So, but my little sister when I left was just a little, little kid. When I got home, she was a woman. Her hair was like bright pink, scared the crap out of me. Cause I was like this. Orthodox Mormon. And I was like, oh my God. My little brother was stoked to see me. We get in the car, they hand me a phone.
It's an iPhone. I'm like, what is this? I've had a Nokia for two years. What is this? And they're like, oh, it's a, it's an iPhone. I'm like, oh, cool. I remember. iPod's nice. Yeah. And they're like here, we'll share our contacts with you. That was like, all right, what does that mean? They sent me a text and it says like, Talia Zeman and like, what am I supposed to do with this guy? I don't know what this is. That I go and they make fun of me.
They, they put the numbers in. They tell me what my number is and it's a number that I had memorized. I really only had two phone numbers memorized before I left was my dad, my mom's phone number. I had just inherited my mom's phone number. Still have it.
And then I learned that my mom had already remarried.
The day before.
That hurt. Why didn't. Why did that hurt? Did you, did you feel like, because you served the mission faithfully that promises weren't kept or promises weren't kept. Things were kept from me, which I understand now, like being apparent, like there's certain things that you feel like you need to keep from your children to, to not cause damage.
But honestly, I didn't even know I'm on the dating. Like. Did she get married? Did she seem happier? Did it seem like it was a positive or was it just tough because of the orthodoxy of the one told me that she got married, so she wouldn't disappoint me. Hmm. Because she knew as an Orthodox Mormon that I would judge her for living with her partner.
And ended up becoming a shit show. I'm getting mom, I'm not trying to bash any. This is just part of my story. That guy was an ass. Piece of shit.
Sorry for those listening for the swearing. No, our audience might not like that. But. He was.
Aye. Shortly after I'm just skipping all these points. I'm just going through life. Anyways. I shortly after. With heading up to college. So on my mission, our mission president's wife. I'm so grateful for her. Encouraged us that it was time to apply for college. So we actually were given like great amount of time to go and apply for colleges. I found some really good friends on my mission that we had decided to all go to the same school together and we're going to room together.
We all got accepted to BYU, Idaho. We were stoked so much fun. I love that time. Of therapy while you Idaho. The school is kind of weird, kind of wear hats can wear shorts. There's real weird rules, but the people that I was with was incredible. Again, people are most important to me. My mom. Drove me up to a college.
She helped buy my first computer. Throw me out to college. She helped me get groceries. She made my bed and then.
She said goodbye. And she went and moved to Oregon with her husband. I was dropped off on her way to work. And it was a cool, like last experience with her.
But really like that was all relatively within a similar timeframe. And.
I can genuinely say that was like the last good, healthy conversations that I've had with my mom. That was 2013. I'm still working on that relationship now. It was really hard. The tipping point in that relationship was. When the first holidays came up Christmas. And, you know, as a missionary, like you're another country. Christmas. Isn't the same. Yeah. Long for home. Oh yeah. I remember my family. I was FaceTiming them or zooming them for Christmas and seeing them open their Christmas presents. And hit her.
It was so fun and exciting to watch, but her hurt. Oh, yeah. Cause I just wanted to be there. Anyway. So the first holidays came up first Christmas and I'm told that I have to go to Oregon to have Christmas with my mom. Because it's her holiday. Don't mind that I'm adult I'm an adult. And I don't belong. To a, my holiday situation to this date, pisses me off when I hear it's my holiday. I can't handle it.
In fact, I hate the holidays and. That's the root of it, but I told my mom, no. I was not going to do that. I had been in Chile for two years. Longing. To have Christmas. At my house. And I grew up in.
And that tore her apart, which I understand like the divorce had already wrecked her. She wanted to be with her kids.
She was so excited to have Christmas with her son, but I mentally and emotionally couldn't do it. I needed some familiarity in my life. I had been bouncing from place to place, to place, to place for two years, and then up to college, like I needed some stability and some familiarity in my life.
Needed to reconnect with Homebase.
Yeah, I still haven't. There's still. I still haven't. I've created a new one. In fact. That sparked a huge fight with my mom. Me and my brother, my sister ended up calling up there later and having a late Christmas. But at the same time, like, Things were never the same. And at that moment. I made a mental decision that I was not going to continue living my life for the family that I had grown up in. But for the family that I was going to form.
Every decision.
Everything I did was because I needed to be the best me. For my future. Yeah, future family. Absolutely.
Aye. Missed out on a lot of fun activities at college, because I knew that I needed to pay for my own schooling. And I needed to get a scholarship. Academic scholarship. So I missed out on a lot of activities, a lot of parties, a lot of just hanging out, going snowboarding. Signing up for cool classes, where you go and you explore Mexico because I had to pay for college myself.
I didn't have another route. I Lived in the library. For my first two years of college. I lived in the library. I was there. I was on campus. From like 7:00 AM until 9:00 PM. I didn't leave. Jeez. But I got that scholarship. To pay for college. I mean, I do have to recognize that I also was getting grants because my mom was Poor.
And so I was as documented as her dependent and so I was able to get grants so that combined with the scholarships was able to support me through college. But
That was hard, man. Like. My whole world was flipped upside down in a two year period. I lost my family. I lost myself. Came back to a whole new dynamic. And realized that I had to create my own life. And I got similar advice again. From a Bishop at this time, like this is the only time in your life where you get to be selfish because you're simply by yourself. You don't have a family of your own. And you don't need to worry about that.
Like go do what you need to do, focus on yourself, but I couldn't. I needed to, to think about my future. And Otherwise I'd have just been partying. I knew that I had that internal beast inside of me that that's what I would have become. So I worked really hard. I got great grades. I. Grew a lot during that time.
But I still felt a gap. In my life. Of serving again, I love serving and helping people. And an opportunity was presented before me. From a, from a gal in my Spanish class, I, I took a condensed Spanish class. And I'm sure that was too easy. It, no. Well, because I tested out of the easy ones. Oh, okay.
But I went into a hard one. We're doing like basically Shakespeare in Spanish. But the Spanish riders, it was, it was tough. Yeah. But I met a girl there and she was really cool. She introduced me to a organization called camp Kesem, which is a camp for children whose parents have. Or passed from cancer or just simply have cancer, right. I volunteered at camp Kesem. And did that for several years where I was able to go to this camp and help kids be kids and forget. Who they were not necessarily who they were, but forget the pain that they were experiencing at home. One of the things that cap test them is you set up a camp name at camp.
You don't go by your regular name. You don't want to be Johnny whose mom. Have cancer. You can be Batman. Right. Cool. So some of the kids there, we had peanut butter. We had Batman, we had right. We had really fun kids. My camp name was Zulu. Because my last name. It starts with a Z. And. Changed my life working at camp Kesem for several reasons.
One. Experiencing life with these kids in the purity, in their eyes, the group of the people that I was with. When I was at college, I was doing school, but I was also able to do fundraising and prep. I was the volunteer coordinator, so I worked on finding tons of volunteers and building relationships.
And then I eventually came to the camp director. And I also ended up interviewing. Who would become my wife. Very cool. Yeah. Yeah. So I met Mingo. That was her camp name. In an interview and. When I was looking at her resume online, it's going to sound cheesy as hell, but I stand by this happening and I don't know what caused it, but as I was looking through her resume and seeing her picture and. I heard. It's clear as day. That I needed to take her on a date. And.
That was weird. Funny enough, I had pre like prior to that had bounced anyone around you or. So myself and my room. Okay. And I've been on like a dating freeze. Like I, I was kind of done. I had dated a couple of people that had really liked it didn't work out. I was on a dating freeze.
I wasn't, I wasn't gonna keep dating. Not interested. No. Yeah. And then I heard that I was like, okay. And then, but I wasn't really going to act on it. Then I went to her actual interview. I was like, oh yeah, I need to ask her on a date. And shortly after that, my buddy Kaelin, he was like, dude, you got to start coming on dates with us, man.
Like at least like once a week. Cause they were going on tons of dates and I was missing out and hanging out with my good friends. Right. Yeah, this is formative time. Like anyways. You got to start, man, like at least try maybe like once a week, once a month, something like that. Like we gotta have you started coming out with us, man.
We miss you. And I was like, all right. It mango. We ended up. Having a. Hm. A welcome counselors, like, hi, that you were hired on. It was volunteer. So I wasn't necessarily hired. But we played with Zuora balls and when you get in the big ball, Yeah. And if I'm inside, the big balls are surrounded.
You can kind of roll all over the place. Yeah. So we were playing soccer, doing that. And I think I made Becca fly across the room on accident in that anyways. Yeah. Mingo. Yeah. But the funny thing is afterwards, you kind of sat down and we broke everything down inside of the circle, or like, alright guys, like this, wasn't just a meeting to see if, how you guys would get along here. This was to tell you guys that you've, you've made it like you're going to be our staff, our counselors. And so what you're saying is you rocked her world before she rocked yours.
Oh, well, in those orbs, So I needed to be very strategic here, right. Because I didn't want to be seen like, above. That's like a leader or a boss by any means. Right. And so I knew that I wanted to ask Becca out. And I specifically said, I just want you guys to know that I'm not above you. Like I'm not your boss always see me that like we're on the same level. We're friends.
I'm going to get to know all of you.
And so when I asked her on a date a little while later, She thought it was just her Kern. Oh, really? She doesn't know.
Until we pulled up and it was a couple of my friends with girls and she's like, oh my gosh, this is a date. She wasn't ready. Like she wasn't dressed for a date. She wasn't prepared for a date. And honestly, knowing Becca. It's probably better that it happened that way. But I also still get crap because I never had asked for her phone number.
I never had it hard. Right. But she gave it up willingly and an application. Yeah, exactly. So we had fun shooting shotguns that first day we went and had a winger. So anybody else want to go get food? But I was broke. And.
Sorry, this episode's long. Anyways, I was broke. And so I convinced her that all we needed was French fries and lemonade.
We went on some more dates and we basically saw each other every day we got married. Which was obviously a huge pivotal point in my life meeting. Becca changed my life. She brought that joy, that clarity, that peace that I had been looking for, she. Is my everything. I love her so much. And. I don't know that she even realizes the impact that she had in my life and the hell that I went through, because I don't like to talk about it. But she truly was. The diamond on the black velvet, right.
She just stood out and she still does. She was home she's home. She is home. Her. And I now have two beautiful children. Which were extremely impactful moments in my life. In fact today I was cleaning up my son's toys and I started to get emotional thinking about the time when we're going to have to put those toys away.
And I've given crap to my dad for my whole life for saving our toys. But every toy has a memory or. I have a moment in their life and I love them. I'm so grateful for Becca. I'm so grateful for our children. And I'm so grateful for the family that I married into. My in-laws are amazing. And I love my family.
I love my dad. I love my mom. I love my sister. I love my brother so much. And we'll talk about them one day, but I want tell you, I want you to know that I love you. I'm so proud of you. And the difficulties you've come through and where you are now. Britton, same for you. I love you so much. I am so proud of you. Seeing you thrive in Japan is the coolest thing. It's so cool. So cool. Dad. I love you. I know. There has been hard times in our lives, but I love you.
And I'm extremely grateful for the lessons that you've taught me. And for your support that you've given me As I was a child, but most specifically as I've been a man. And the support that you've given me. Mom. I know that we're working on things still. And I want you to know that I do love you. And while it may seem difficult at times for us to communicate it's because the emotions are so high and there's so many beautiful memories. That have been overshadowed by very difficult ones. And I'm still working on that. But I think Kyler that. And a very, not so short. Manner is. What has formed me. To this point in my life.
Where a. We've talked a lot about your life. We kind of know. Like the broad picture of everything. Out of all that and all that you've had to go through and the growth that you've had to make. And, and
The things that you had to. That's perspective changes that you've gone through. What would you say is your biggest inspiration through it? All?
Nothing's too hard.
Nothing's too hard. There's no.
Obstacle that you can't overcome.
And. We probably need to put like a.
Listener adviser on here, but. There's no time in your life. Where. You need to take it. It might seem like it's the end. It might seem. Like there's no way forward or the people's lives will be better without you.
But having been on the other side,
That creates really deep wounds that last forever. And.
You know, since then I've had an aunt take her life. I've had several other people who've attempted and it's very difficult. If you are considering or have passive thoughts, get help, know that you're loved. No, that you can get through it. Talk to your friends, talk to your family.
You're loved build those relationships.
Don't ignore them. You know, at the beginning we started talking about how relationships are the most important to me. And building those relationships with everybody. I love getting to know people.
That will bring light into your life. Don't think about money. Don't think about your situation. If you can build strong relationships, those things will solve themselves. It might not seem like it, but it will eventually. Yeah. So you'd say your biggest inspiration is that nothing's too hard to get through.
Nothing's too hard to get through. It's really. And I will talk about this a lot more in upcoming episodes because I've had a lot of experiences with suicide as far as The professional man. But there is a dichotomy in all things. There's like you said, there's super highs. And then all of a sudden that feels like your legs get sweeped out from underneath you.
And then you have super lows. And once you realize that because of the dichotomy there's lightness and darkness, happiness and sadness. You know, pleasure and pain.
If you're able to easier.
Work your way through it, as difficult as is in the moment. Yeah. But just like you said, I mean, You're you're never alone. There's 8 billion people on the planet. I'm sure there's a good percentage of the people that feel the same way or have the same experiences. And that's what we're here to talk about.
That's what we're here to do is to shed light on those things and to provide a safe place for people to come and, and share their perspective. And. Be able to voice their opinions and to feel lighter at the end of it all. Yeah. It's so absolutely important that we. Have a, have a, a space for people to be able to do that and for them to find themselves.
Yeah, I agree. And people aren't going to hate you or is aim for it. Right. It's not you attempting to take your life. It's not a divorce. It's not any certain action. Along those lines that people are gonna resent you for. It's the way that you treat them after, and the way that that relationship continues, focus on that.
Focus on the love, help people. If you've ruined a relationship or hurt a relationship. You can work to fix it, but you don't have to write that you aren't required to. You can build a new relationship. There's love to be found everywhere. You can do it. We believe in you. We love you. If you need a chat. Make sure that you get the help that you need.
Absolutely. Well, thank you all for tuning in this week. I know it's been an important episode for us to get to know Tyler. He's an incredible man, and I can't wait to be able to explore more. As we go through these episodes together. Feel free to reach out to us with any questions or comments you might have.
You can find us on Facebook and Instagram at the Isler perspective. Or send us an email@theislerperspectiveatgmail.com. That's T H E E Y E L E R. Perspective, P E R S P C T I V e@gmail.com. We want to open your eyes and hear your perspective. If you've liked listening to us, please leave a review and subscribe and share. This podcast with your friends.
We want to hear from you all and know more about your perspective. Have a great day. Thanks everybody.