Take a moment out of your day to live intentionally. Catch up with Tyler and Kyler as we talk about life-changing moments that have opened our eyes and helped us live for the moment.
Take a moment out of your day to live intentionally. Catch up with Tyler and Kyler as we talk about life-changing moments that have opened our eyes and helped us live for the moment.
Welcome to the either perspective today. We'll be discussing how to live life. Intentionally. Let's go.
Hey, thanks for everyone tuning back in. We are very impressed. This is episode five. We just launched a podcast this last week. And. Surprisingly more than just two people is listening to us. So that's pretty exciting. Yeah, honestly, we did not expect really much of anything. We just kind of wanted to set the time aside for us to just chat and talk.
But we're already at 121 downloads, which is really exciting. That's probably nothing for those who are, or major in the, in the podcast world. But for us, it's, you know, it's exciting that there's that many people who. Care to listen to us. So thank you. I don't know. It's very humbling, especially those in Chile and in France.
Thanks for tuning in. Hopefully we were exciting enough for you and love to have you come back and listen to us some more. Today, we're going to dive into a topic that both of us have been thinking about and that's about living intentionally and what exactly that means. So, Tyler, what do you think a. Living intentionally means for you or how do you see that? Yeah, I love that Kyler.
So. I mean, what I've really been thinking about lately is. You know, I used to live life. For a. Uh,
Life or a future. Past this life, right. I was doing my actions and everything for a future existence that I believed existed or it would be putting stock or deposits into a future bank account that you thought you could drop on. Yeah, exactly. And you know, Maybe that that does exist. Maybe there is something after, but either way, whether it exists or not, if you're only living in depositing. Everything that you do for that future existence, you're losing what you currently have. You're not fully cherishing and taking advantage. Of the life you have right now.
Absolutely. There's something to be said about being present. And really. Living in the moment that is, seems to be a lot more richer of an experience. Then just planning for some future day. That is. Quite frankly. Unsure it's unwritten. We don't, we don't know. Yeah, there's a lot of speculation from all sorts of different. Religions and thought processes.
And I mean, there's a million different perspectives that you could go into and it's tough to put all your stock or all your deposits into one. That can make it kind of difficult to live for something that's uncertain. Yeah. I mean, you can take it a step further too. How many of us live our life? Working towards retirement. Right.
You just simply clock in to your nine and nine to five and you keep working and you just go into this empty space until you wake up at 60 years old and you retire and you finally get to do what you want to do, but by that time, A lot of people aren't even able to do those things or they don't even make it to that.
Right. They've been working their whole life for retirement and then they pass before. And so making sure that you're just living in the moment. And when I say that, I'm not saying, forget about the future, right. There's things you got to do for the future, but take advantage of the time that you have right now. Plus, I think it also adds another element of anxiety when you feel like you might not be good enough. To be able to make it to that future day that you're hoping for. And then there's that added stress on trying to be perfect or trying to live a certain way. That that makes it more difficult. For you to enjoy what you have now.
And that's, that's a lot more precious of what. You're living now. There's this quote. I once heard it. It goes something where if your past self. Could see where you are now. And the goals that you've achieved. It would be. Floored to know how far you've come. And yet. So many of us. We set goals, which are good. And we reached those goals. But it almost feels like sometimes it's never quite enough. And once you hit that goal, there's always a future goal. You're looking for. And a lot of people say, you know, I'll be happy when I achieve this goal. And they achieve that goal and they realized they're not happy yet.
And they go, oh, well, I'll be happy when, and they set another goal. And it just keeps on getting further and further away from their grasp. When, if they were to take a moment, And breathe and focus and realize they've already achieved goals that they've set. In their previous person. That they're doing amazing things and that they should be happy, you know? Yeah. And I mean, when you think about it that way as well, goals are great, right?
It helps you progress. It helps you move forward. It helps you not stay stagnant. If you don't set goals. It's also a way to not live life intentionally, right? You need to have a fine balance. Because I mean, think of how many people. Just accept their fate. They just accept the state that they are in the situation that they live in and they do nothing to get out of it. And they just accept it. If you don't set a goal with. A specific timeframe in mind. Gore not going to progress, which is also going to inhibit you from living life. Yeah. Potentially, it goes back to our time in a Timberline.
Yeah. And about setting smart goals and how smart goals also have timelines. And I think it's, I think it's massively important to just put things into your future. And into that realm, you're about to live into. That allows you to be a better human than what you are today. If you allow yourself, like you said to say stagnant and just accept who you are, you're putting your past into your future.
And when you do that, you're living into a future. That seems pretty bleak. But your future can be whatever you want it to be. I mean, thoughts are powerful. Words are powerful. Intentions are powerful. When you start putting those things into your future, all of a sudden you're able to achieve things that you didn't realize was possible. Kind of like Oh, what's it called when you Intentionally put things into your future. Manifest manifesting.
Thank you. Yeah, it's just like manifesting. I can tell you tons of stories about how I've manifested things into my future that have come to fruition and it seems. It seems unreachable in the time that I'd made those goals. But then talking about it enough or thinking about enough and putting it out there, it's come to fruition and it's really cool to see. Yep.
To get kind of personal on this.
Right? What really got me thinking about. Living intentionally. When we had our first child, I kind of just tuned out. For. Almost two years. Right. I was just going through the motions of being a husband and going through the motions of being a father. Because I was not ready mentally. Right. Like I wasn't strong enough mentally to handle all the changes that was going on in our life that was in the middle of COVID as well.
So there's a lot going on. Terrifying. Yeah. And I basically had a wake up call. Two and a half years after my child, first child was born and realized that I had missed out. On two and a half years of my son's life. And now that we have our second child and I'm cherishing these moments when she's you know, an infant it's adorable.
I love it. And I, and I have regret. On what I missed out on. My first son. And.
Man. I love them both so much. And when I think about a future.
Well, I think about now is how I'm going to be able to create the memories and experiences for them that will last forever. We think about an eternity and going into another life possibly, and being able to continue to live on and on, right. It, depending on your religious beliefs or philosophical beliefs. But, you know, what will live on? His stories and memories. So if you don't go and build those stories and build those memories with your kids. Your grandkids. Then you will fade, right?
It, it, it reminds me of We have kids. Right. So we're gonna be talking to a lot of a Disney Pixar movies, but if you think about cocoa, right? Yeah. And they have the old Frenda. Where they remember their ancestors. You're not going to be remembered. If you don't live in the present. If you are simply working, you're going to be forgotten and. You're going to have regret on that.
I was just having this conversation exactly like this with my mom the other day, because I told her, you know, really a lot of people.
Experienced two deaths. The first death is physical. The second death is when the last person who remembers you dies and what kind of legacy are you going to live so that your memories and your stories can live on. And that's, that's something that's kind of. Been big in my perspective recently is how can I. Live in such a way that it is. Intentional. And that I am able to. Leave a legacy. And. It's it's tough to think that way, because it can seem. Like doom and gloom. Sometimes, but at the same time, I think it gives you a richer perspective on. What you have in the moment?
Yeah. It does. There's a a man down in Chile. Who I call my Chilean grandpa. His name was Juan Kantola.
And see the one with stomach cancer. Yeah. Yeah. So Juan was a suit maker, right. He made the most beautiful luxury suits. He had gone to. School. And he was like 18 years old to do this and he did it until he passed away. And the most amazing thing about him. Is Juan had Arthritis. He had cataracts. He had stomach cancer.
Yeah. Hernia. He had all the issues. He was in constant pain. And yet he would work and put his heart and soul into every suit that he made. He would tailor it perfectly to your body. You would contour. The collar most collarss. If you look at a suit is going to be a straight line behind the neck, he would curve it.
So it fit naturally. And it flowed with the curves of your body. It looked great. And we would be there sometimes chat with them while he'd be making suits. And I remember asking him. You know, why, why do you do this? You are at an agent sick enough that we can help get you financial help and you don't have to do this. And he used a quote from the Bible where he says by the sweat of your brow, Basically, you will bring. Your meat.
Right? And until you can no longer do it essentially. And. He said I'm going to, to work and tell IDI. This brings me joy. I love making these suits. He didn't really have his wife had passed away years earlier. You had a child that didn't have a strong relationship there. I don't know that the stories. Too much on that as we didn't dive into it a lot, but. He wanted to bring joy to every one of us who visited him. So the missionaries would constantly buy suits from him and he would always try and share. Funny or lighthearted jokes.
He was always laughing. And one day I could tell in particular he was in extreme pain and I just asked him. How he does it.
Let's let's kind of, let's get serious here. How are you doing this? You have tons of pain. You're dying. You were given a year to live. You've already lived past that by three years.
Like, how are you doing it? And he said that. A long time ago, he read a newspaper article that the best way to fight cancer. Was with a laugh.
And so he makes sure to laugh every single day. He does not go through a day without laughing. And I wished that I would remember that every day as well. If you think about the days where there's been, laughter are typically better. Right. If you have a good laugh with your child. It's a good day. It brings joy to you.
It raises your cortisol levels that you're happy or not even just hearing their laughter is enough. It's amazing. Yeah. And so that's how Juan did it. Right. He went through some incredible trials and he. Laughed his way through life. Not. Bypassing the struggles. But finding joy in every day, even if a day was dark and gloomy. It kind of reminds me. The way you're saying is that he was just facing his trials head on and wasn't really concerned much about it. It interests me because there's this psychological response between cows and buffaloes when there's torrential storms.
And the difference is, is when there's a torrential storm. A cow will run away from the storm. And the further he runs from the storm, the longer he stays in the storm. Whereas the Buffalo will turn and run directly into the storm. He takes the trial and the hardship head on. But if you takes it head on with a good attitude, he gets through the storm faster. Then the cow that continues to stay in it. Hmm.
So it was one of those things. That's interesting to me, you know, if, if you try to ignore things, sometimes they fester. But when you acknowledge them and live into them, It becomes something that's a lot more manageable. But I wanted to go back to what you said a little bit earlier about life is more about making memories. Then, you know, becoming that robot and just going through the motions to get through your days. And that was a huge thing that my dad talked about a lot was that he wasn't about, he didn't really care about how much money he made or, you know, whether or not. Meals around the table or where they came from.
It was all about making memories. And so we did a lot of family vacations intentionally because he wanted to make the memory so that we had those memories to cherish. And every time you talk to any of my family members. We always talk about making memories and there's a lot of different corks and things that my dad did that, that lives on because we have those cherished memories from them.
Yeah. I had a scout leaders growing up that would say They had a joke with their friends when they would go do crazy things that they're going to make stories for the grandkids.
And I think back on life and man, I I've made some stories for the grandkids and I want to continue to make stories for the grandkids that don't just include me.
Right. That included my whole family that we can share. Those stories and, you know, it's easy for a parent to clock out. And go and make their own memories too.
Just kind of de-stress and get away from the chaos. And I'll admit firsthand. It's hard to try and make those memories, especially when it's a screaming or angry day. Right. With, with the toddler changes in temperament and everything. But usually it only lasts a moment and all they want is attention. They want your love and attention, and you can go create some amazing experiences. My son. Had the opportunity to see a sea turtle. For the first time we, we bought a raft with a clear bottom and we went it took him out snorkeling and I found a turtle and I placed the raft right above where the turtle would be, but it was down in like a cave down to the bottom.
So I swam down to the bottom. And then before I knew that the turtle was swimming out and went right underneath my son's raft. And he talks about that all the time. He loves it. He thinks it's so cool. He said it looked like it was flying. And. That's a memory that he loves. And we asked him, Hey, when little sister is big enough to go somewhere, where should we go?
And he says the Hilton Hawaii, because I saw turtle. Right. Yeah, that's cool. And so building those memories is hard as it is going on vacation with the, get as hard as it is doing those things. I believe that that's a memory he'll have forever his first time seeing a sea turtle. And. It makes me emotional. When I think about that. That that was a one-time experience.
Right? That's. If I wasn't living in that moment, I would lose that altogether. If I wasn't patient enough that day to try and get him on the raft, even though he was scared to do it. And he didn't trust it. If I had just said, all right, whatever, play in the sand, I'm going to go swim myself. He never would've seen that sea turtle.
He never would've had that experience. Wow. Yeah, it's impressive. The things that you feel like you could've missed, if you weren't there.
I to get, to get personal from my story about learning to live intentionally. I feel like when you become a first responder law enforcement firefighter, any of those things. There's a, there's a time and a place when you're in the academy. That you have to face the realization that you're working a job that one day you may not come home from. And. Being able to.
Become. Okay. With the thought of that. Is a very difficult task. And it's one that. You know, typical me would say all that's a later Kyler problem. And we'll just worry about that. Another time. But it was something that, that is a realization and it became, so wouldn't one of my best friends from the academy was killed in the line of duty. Just three years after. Exiting the academy.
It was something that was a very real. Because he left behind a wife and a son and then found out that. He left behind another son. And that was in the womb. That was in the womb. Yeah. Didn't even know that. His wife was pregnant and he was an incredible man. He's such a great example. Of living intentionally. And having those fun stories, but it gives you that wake up call where you're like, wow. You know, this is real. Just because we live in a state like Utah and most people are pretty peaceful.
Doesn't make it outside the realm of possibility.
Between that. And the first time I actually went to go out hunting. And I sat in nature for a week without any electronic devices. And I was just able to feel the serenity. And reconnect with nature. It opened my eyes to, you know, making sure every day is present. I think that's one of the reasons why so many first responders and military. Individuals are poor. Because they realize that I'm not going to. I don't know if they realize it, but it's like, well, I'd rather live in the moment. Then try to save for some future day.
That's uncertain. And it, it changes a lot when you, when you get up in the morning and you're like, well, I don't know. If I leave today, if I'm coming back tonight. And that that really gives you a paradigm shift and a perspective change. To live more intentionally and to really accept everything as it is.
Yeah. I can see you're emotional about that Kyler and. Obviously that it hits hard. You having lost your dad and knowing what that experience is like. So when you put on your uniform and you head out every day, What are you doing? To make sure that you've lived intentionally that day and that your children will have a good memory of you and your, and your wife. Well, you have to, you have to build a Bulletproof mindset because if you live in fear, that's no life at all. I I've been to many medical calls. And especially after having gone through advanced emergency medical training. I have seen people dying from my eyes.
I've helped people as they died. I've done CPR on people. Four. 30 plus minutes in a remote area where it feels like. You're their last hope and you just. You realize how fragile life is.
And when you realize that. The difference between life and death is one breath. It really brings into perspective how fragile life is. And how great it is that. You know, it's a miracle every day you go to sleep, you wake up the next morning and you somehow are still breathing. Like no one knows when their end is. And so to live intentionally and to leave a memory, a lasting memory for my wife or my children. I feel like I'm doing it right now with this podcast.
I want them to know. What my voice sounded like. I want them to know. How I thought and what my process was. I want them to know. How absolutely perfect they are to me and how they don't need. To feel like they have to reach some sort of expectation. Them being authentically, who they are. Is what makes me the happiest. And. Trying to let them know how much their dad loves them. My oldest daughter, she's nine. And I. I unintentionally slash intentionally started doing affirmations with her. Probably when she was four or five. And I asked her almost daily.
What are the five things you're never supposed to forget? And she responds. That I'm beautiful. That I'm kind, that I'm important. That I'm smart. And that my dad loves me. Because that was something my dad instilled in us is. You know, no matter, no matter what. You're never supposed to forget that your mom and dad love you. Times get hard. Sometimes you get disciplined.
I got disciplined often cause I was a knucklehead. Yeah, but no matter what, I always knew that my parents loved me and that's something that carried on. And the last words he said to me before he became non-verbals, I'm proud of you.
And so I want that. Especially for my daughters, especially for the world we live in where. You know, you can get attacked from all angles now, not just in your social environment, but on the internet or on cell phones or whatever it is. I want them to have this strength in this. Vitality that they can be like the Buffalo and head into the storm.
And no. You know what? I'm smart, I'm beautiful. I'm kind, I'm important. And my dad loves me and that's all I need. And. No, it doesn't matter the approval of others like this. It's going to be all right. And I'm just. Doing my best to instill those things into them because. Life's not guaranteed. I don't know when my time is that I'll go. But.
I've come to the realization and conclusion. A long time ago. And especially after my buddy was killed in the line of duty that. You know, if I live my life to where if my time is today. I'm okay.
I know that the people I leave behind won't be okay. But I'll live a life. Authentic to me. And to those around me. That. If it's it. It's it. You know, and there's no guarantees and that's the hardest thing to live for. But. You know, it, it really opens your eyes about living intentionally and not. Squandering the time you have.
Yeah.
I got to give you kudos for doing that with your daughter and. Making sure that she knows those things. When I was in elementary school. I had super low self-confidence. I. And that's crazy to think, like a kid in elementary school, like how do you have self-confidence issues? Right. But I, I struggled. And my mom and I don't even remember the exact words that she had me do or say or what, but she, every morning would have me look in the mirror and do some affirmations. And. It was a night and day difference.
Like within that year from transitioning from like fifth grade to sixth grade, I was a totally different person. Granted there's there's puberty and there's hormones things happening, but mentally I was better mentally. I was stronger. From those affirmations. And so. I thank you for doing that with your daughters, because it's important.
And it's something that I'm going to go ahead and make sure that I do. With Reed and my child, my daughter. That's something that we were taught in Timberline. You know, if you can see it, you can be it. and if you say it, you're putting it into your future. If you can see it and imagine what it's like, what it would feel like, would it smell like what it tastes like? And to really put that manifestation out there. There's no stopping you.
Right? The coolest thing about human life is that we're conscious that we can make decisions that we can. Create. And. It's just so impressive to me to realize how limitless we are, the more that we harness that power and create. There's nothing that we can do. Right. It's important to recognize that for yourself, it's important also to say it to others. Because people need to hear it. Oh, absolutely.
So focusing and making sure you're saying those things to your children. Right. It's.
I try not to go a single day without telling my son. That he is smart and that he works hard and that he's loved. Right. I don't have him repeat it back to me. I should. But make sure that you tell. The loved ones that you have, that you love them, that they're important to you. That they're valued because like Kyler's been saying, you don't know. When the last time you'll be able to say those words are. Reid and I were driving. To squats dropping them off at school today. On the freeway, very rainy.
And I made a lane change and didn't see the car. And the lane. Luckily that car was paying attention. It's not on the brakes. Honk the horn. I made the transition safely. But. It was a matter of feet. From us being in a really bad accident. And thank. God, we didn't get in an accident and he's able to the school safely and I'm able to be here today.
But.
Again, you, you don't know when that last moment is going to be. You don't know if you're going to wake up tomorrow. You don't know if you're going to get in a car accident or if your spouse is going to get an accident while she's driving somewhere, did they randomly. Maybe she asked your kids in the car at you don't know. And so if you are living for a future, World or future life or existence, and you're not living in the present.
You're not fully investing yourself into your family and your time into your family.
You're really, truly going to miss out and there's going to be a pain of regret. That. Is harder than a pain of, of hard work. That's harder than, you know, I worked a 12 hour shift and now I need to go and play for three hours with my kids. Right. Put in that effort because. You'll miss those memories.
You'll miss those moments. You only have a finite amount of time where your kids will be young enough to build those memories. Wow. You said this. I want to say in the very first episode where. You talked about how you only have, you know, 13 first days of school. And everything. So finite. And in my profession, we see a lot of people that get so hyper fixated on the profession that it becomes who they are. And I want to become who they are. And often leads to divorce. Lots of divorce. Lots of. Troubled children. And things because they missed the mark on where they're supposed to focus on. And I, I realized when. My job, although I love it.
And I love helping people. My most important job is at home. And so I could hyper fixate on trying to catch bad guys. I could hyper fixate on trying to get more drugs off the street. But in reality, there's always going to be more bad guys. There's always going to be more drugs, but I'm never going to get the time back with my children.
Yeah. And that's why when I. Check off duty. I'm so severely off duty and into my dad mode. That I want my kids not to just be like, oh, my dad was a cop. Yeah. I want them to be like, no, my dad was present. He was around, he played with us. He took us on daddy, daughter dates. We had a good time. Because I would hate nothing more for them to have that regret to be like, my dad wasn't present.
Yeah.
As you know, my dad was a police officer as well, growing up. And. And we were poor, like you said, right? First responders just simply don't get paid enough. They just don't. And so my dad was consistently putting in overtime. He was working hard. He started out in the prison and then he, you know, went to patrol and went to the academy.
Did all these things. And.
He did as much as he could take to give us his time and attention. He was my football coach. I don't think he ever missed a single game. Even if it was a far drive away. When I was in high school, he was there. He was at every single game, him and my mom, they were there. They were present. But it was very, very hard for me as a child of a, of a first responder. As you know, every day, You know, if he had a night shift or if he was getting called on SWAT, like he was on, on call. I was constantly scared that he was going to come back.
There was a time where he told us that in the video camera, the lady he had put in. To his, his squad car. On camera said that she wishes she had just, effing, shot him. And then when he was doing the search of the vehicle, he found a loaded gun in the middle of the seat. And, you know, there's that constant fear of your dad's gonna be gone. But then there's also that mindset that changes inside of them. Right. My dad always sat with his back to a wall facing the door of the restaurant establishment. He was always on. If we talked back at all, he immediately went into cop mode.
And. Cop mode was, you know, something we would say like, Hey, you're. Your cop mode. Yeah. You're not dad right now. And it was hard. Right? I know it was hard on him and it was hard on my mom. It was hard on us as kids. But it was a survival instinct that you have to have. Cause you, like you said, you don't know if you're going to come home and if you don't have those instincts. Then you're not right.
If you're just going to lay over and die. You're not coming home. And so these first responders have changed that mindset. And they need help. Right? You, you guys need the assistance to be able to. Switch that mindset. To be able to come home. And I think everybody does right. You need to be able to. Check yourself out of work. Well, I wasn't going to work. Thinking, it's not going to come home. You know, and I go to work at. And do sales.
My mind will continually linger. On a deal or a conversation I had or something I can do to make the deal possibly progress. And so my days. Would blend into nights as I would have sleepless nights thinking about what I could do. To get that deal so that I could. You know, keep my family going.
I guess the point of our episode today. It's to have everybody. Live in the present in the moment. Stop thinking about. The past stopped thinking about the future. There's a quote that I want to share. It says. If you want to be happy, do not dwell on the past. Do not worry about the future. Focus on living fully in the present. No amount of regretting can change the past. No amount of worrying can change the future. If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.
I think that's.
Such a beautiful quote. I really. I really enjoyed you talking about. You know, recognizing that even though your dad was a first responder. He made. Every effort. To make it to all your football games. I remember this is a core memory for me. I was this is going to sound really funny.
But I was on the Shakespeare team in junior high.
And what that was, was a competitive team that would go down to Cedar city, Utah. And perform, you know, Scenes from different Shakespeare plays. But they would modernize them and they would change it up to where. It was different set of different times and it was really kind of cool. It was really fun, but this particularly year. I had, I was chosen. To do a dance competition. And it was my first ever dance competition.
And I do not look like a dancer.
And the dance was Romeo and Juliet. And it was a contemporary dance. And I remember telling my dad about this and he'd agreed to be a chaperone. And my dad, he grew up as a sports guy. He was really good about never. Projecting what his high school life was on to us. All of his trophies, all this metals are packed away in a trunk.
We didn't even know. That he'd go to state and wrestling and things like that until long after the fact that we had done something. But I remember when I told him, Hey, I'm going to be on the Shakespeare team. I'm going to start doing drama and choir. He's like, I've never had a son do this. I don't really know how to respond to this.
Cause it seems kind of out there. And he agreed to be a chaperone. And I remember. When I got done with that dance at the competition. Looking up. And we were in a small auditorium, but it was packed with people. And I looked up past the judges. And I could see my dad standing in the back, just crying, just like weeping after our dance. And afterwards he came up and he's like, I had no idea you could dance.
He was like, that was so beautiful and moving. And we ended up winning first place that year, my first ever dance competition in contemporary. And I ended up winning first place. It's like, It's crazy. What are the odds of that? But after that, my dad dove into Shakespeare. He bought the complete works of William Shakespeare and he would show up at every skid that we were in and he would follow along in. The book and just realize how amazing Shakespeare was that. His words were art and it was so fun to see it set in different time periods that it was magical and creative.
Right. And I feel like, especially towards the end of his life. He realized how important it was to live intentionally. Right. And you talk about. You know, leaving those moments for your children. And just never having anything. Guaranteed it. It's beautiful to know like, Hey, if I, if I don't come back through this doorway, I'm leaving you with a kiss.
You're going to know how much I love you. And we'll see what happens, you know? Yeah. I don't know. What's. Interesting thought about living intentionally. When loving without conditions. Right. Like.
I will love you no matter what. No matter what mistakes you make. I'll love you. And I'm here for you. And, you know, kind of like what you spoke about in our episode two. You know, you, you had that little repentant session. With your dad. And he said, I don't care what you did. Like, I love you. Yeah. And it's important for everybody to know that. Forgiveness is important, not only for the person receiving the forgiveness, but it's also important for the person giving it. And I think too often,
So.
On a Reddit. Thread that I, that I follow. There are several people who have left a religion that they've been a part of. And it's a high demand, religion that. Requires them to do certain things to. Continue to be with their family forever. And it's conditional. Right. And so. If your child comes to you and says, Hey, Aye.
Like boys.
Hey, I like girls. Hey, I think that I need to transition genders or. I had sex or I did drugs. Then all of a sudden it becomes this whole battle of not helping that child. Too. To move forward and whatever way is best for them. But it becomes a battle of. How do I save you from damnation? Yeah, that's an eternal problem.
It's it comes with an eternal problem and it often. Becomes a selfish problem. Yeah. Because, oh my God, I need to live with my child forever. And if I don't get them back to this. I will not have them forever. And so I'm going to make my child fit into my expectations. And oftentimes they ruin that relationship. And an effort to try and save them for an eternity. They lose them in the present. The only time that's guaranteed.
How does that make sense?
Yeah. Isn't that mind blowing? I, I had a huge.
Shift a perspective. When I. Was able to let go. And just realize that. Everyone was deserving of my love. Everyone. Everyone has so much going on in life. That's one of the beautiful things about being a police officer. As you get to see people in their truest, most raw form, no masks. They're authentic.
They're caught they're in trouble. And it's like just a moment, just a glimpse where you get to see someone as they truly are. And you have an opportunity. To step into that realm with him. And when you're living authentic. And they're being their true self. You can contact on a whole. Deeper level. Yeah. There's this
There's this story about.
An experience I had as I've, as I've tried to peel back my own masks and be authentic with people. And really get the opportunity to be with them in the moment. I've had some really beautiful experiences, but I'll speak of this one because it's, it's so impactful to me. I was working on a shift and I was doing extra patrol. In a remote area of where I worked. And I was falling up on some livestock investigations. And as I'm up in this remote area,
I I, all of a sudden got this really dark thought. And my dark thought was. What would happen? If I just drove as fast as I could off this bend of this road in this canyon. You know, And then my medical training kicked in. I'm like, well, if I was wearing my seatbelt, I probably wouldn't get too hurt. I'd probably survive, but I'll be hospitalized if I wasn't wearing my. And I went through this whole thing of like, I was like, man, that was a really dark thought. And I put it aside and I was like, that was a really strange thing for me to think about as I'll driving upt this canyon that I've done millions of times.
I'd never had those thoughts. And I get to the top of the canyon. And I see a car parked in the parking lot at an overlook. And, you know, I had this feeling, I was like, I should go stop and check out that car. But I was like, no, no, I need to go do this investigation. I need to do this. Follow-up so I go and I do the follow up.
I pass the car. I get done with my followup. I had to come back down the canyon to get cell phone service, to make some phone calls. I come down. I see that car again. It looked like there was two people in the car from my perspective. And so I was like, oh, they're probably just having a heated argument or whatever.
I'm not, I'm not going to bother them. Even though I kept feeling poles to go to that car. I get done with my investigation. I start heading down the canyon and all of a sudden a call comes out for a welfare check. And they're specifically asking for a welfare check in that canyon that I'm in. To look for someone who is contemplating suicide. And. I thought, you know, I've been up this canyon all day.
I haven't seen the car that you're talking about. You know, the only car I've seen is the one at the top and that car doesn't match the description. So I drive down where they say, they thought the car was check the area, don't see the car. I leave the canyon. I called the officer, that's doing the investigation.
I say, Hey man. I didn't see the car. If there's anything else you need me to do, let me know. And I'm driving out of the canyon. He calls me back and he says, Hey, I just got a GPS coordinate. For where the subject is.
And he sends me the GPS coordinate and it's at the lookout of the car that I pass multiple times. And there. Their intent that they've threatened to their family. Was that they're going to drive off the cliff. So all of a sudden. I'm scared to death. 'cause I feel like I had so many poles to stop and talk to them. And that I might've missed an opportunity and I might've been too late. That I went as fast as I could up that canyon, hoping. That they hadn't done that.
And I get to that parking lot. And to that car. And, you know, we all go through experiences, life where we have dark thoughts and we feel like life's over and there's no way we can see the light. And I get out of that car. And I see that there's only one person in the car. And I see that person turn around and look at me. And they just look completely deflated.
It's like, oh no, the cops are here now. You know? And I. I walk up to their window. And I knock on the window. They roll it down and I just kneel down at their window. Totally not what people would think a cop would do. I kneel down at her window. I put my arms on the window sill. And I just look at her and I go having a pretty rough day.
Huh? And she just starts crying. And im like. You thinking about driving off the cliff today? And she goes, yeah. And I go. Me too. I had the exact same thought. But we're not going to do that today. And as I sat with her, In the moment in the present. And shared how dark life was for me. And how she's not alone.
There's a lot of people that are going through this. And it's so important that we share that with each other, because in those moments you think you have no hope and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I sat there with her for maybe 10 minutes. And I said, Hey, I know you don't know me. And I know you have no reason to trust me. But do me this one favor. And make this one decision to trust me for one choice. Let's leave your car.
I'll drive you down to the hospital and we'll get some help together. And if you'll do this for me, I promise life will get better.
I made that promise a million times for people and I've. Never had anything come from it. You don't know. The end of the stories, because there's never anything that gives you that resolve. But for that moment, for that time. I was able to talk her off the ledge. And I get down to the hospital. I turned her over. She's getting the help she needs. The beautiful experience for me. Was about six to eight months later. I get a text on my work cell because I given her my number and said, Hey. If you ever feel like this again, please message me because life gets better.
And she messages me and she goes, Hey, My name is so-and-so. You probably don't know me. When I thought about her so much from that experience. She goes, but I just want to tell you how beautiful my life is now. And how absolutely grateful I am that you helped me that day because I was in such a dark place. And. She's like. It was a. Very moving for me because. You know, most cops are the big, bad Wolf and they always ruin people's lives and take away their freedoms. But to have moments like that, where. You get the, that reaffirming, like, Hey, if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't be here and my life is so much more beautiful now. And I had that opportunity again to say, Hey. Just remember life ebbs and flows like the ocean tides, you know, there's high times and there's low times. And you were in a low time now you're in a high time.
Just remember when those low times come. That high times are coming later and life gets better and you can, you can train yourself to expect the low so that you can be better and make it through it. And it was just so affirming to me about living intentionally. Being authentic, being raw with people. Because that's where you can truly individuals and that's so important.
Yeah. That we have those experiences one-on-one with everyone. That's beautiful. And when I learned. To stop seeing with a perspective of judgment. And seeing what the perspective of. You're a human going through the same struggles and trials as everyone else. It opened my mind. To pure love. And for me that's that was game changing. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that story.
That's.
Very emotional. And.
Again, highlights. What I said in an episode two Kyler is a hero, right? He saved that individual's life today. But I believe that we're all heroes and in any given way, your smile could literally change somebody's life. And. Prevent them from doing something that would end their life. Right. Or prevent them from going and saying something to another person that would ruin a relationship. When it comes down to it. Living life intentionally. Doesn't only mean living life so that. You know, You're focusing on. Your immediate relationships and the people that you know, and building those and harnessing and fostering and loving those, but also on the relationships that you make in passing. And not passing up that moment. Or that. Prompting to go and speak with somebody. Or go and talk to a vehicle who, you know, you've been prompted to go speak to. Live intentionally don't ignore those promptings. Humans are connected to each other. And we can feel them and. Understand them on a deep level because of our nature. And you can help people. By living intentionally not passing up that moment.
You can help your children by living intentionally. You can help your family. All together. And. While there might be moments that it's hard to live in the moment as we've been talking about today. Because you're in a dark space. There will be future days. While you don't always need to linger on a future Aternity you can think about a better day.
You can think about a brighter day and intentionally work. To get to that brighter moment. There's a quote that Kyler and I were discussing earlier today. And it goes as follow. You were too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
We love you.
We want you to know that you are perfect just the way you are, and if you don't like the way you are now. Start manifesting and putting things into your future of who you want to be.
Love those around you. Take care of them. Don't base your reel. Relationships on a. Social construct or what you believe is correct or incorrect. Love people unconditionally. Love your family unconditionally. Don't lose those relationships. Don't lose your relationship with yourself. Live your life to its fullest. Guys, we're so grateful for all 120, one of you that have listened so far. And if you liked this podcast, please share with your friends.
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