22 - Culture Shock and Romance - Britton Part 3

We learn about Britton's living in Japan.  Some of the struggles and how he found his wife.

Transcript

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All right, tell us all about Japan. So you're hold up. I want to know the picked up So you started studying these characters that you saw that you thought were cool then like oh my gosh that reminds me of the UFO BAM Britain's involved in Japanese. Well, you know, it's crazy is that I think I saw some characters that looked more like, you know I don't know, maybe I shouldn't say, but I saw a picture of, like, an old World War II you know, craft that, you know, it's possibly fake, possibly real, I don't know, I don't really care. But it had, like, weird symbols on it, and I think what I saw reminds me more of that than, you know, like, yeah. these Japanese characters, so I want to make it clear that I'm not I didn't like believe that you know These crafts were coming from Japan or or any other country That's a good clarification. Yeah, it was just it was just something some people think that yes. All right, so the ufos aren't from japan or china japan china, okay good clarification Yeah, But it, it intrigued me enough that I was curious about these characters. So I started learning them well, actually, while I was painting with Travis. So you painted with tra Oh, Holmes. Yeah. I was like picturing you doing like a beautiful canvas, Yeah, I was thinking that too. I, I was, I was picturing you painting kaji. Oh yeah. Just like painting beautiful murals of kaji Travis. This is the egg that I saw, you know, it's crazy. I didn't even know that kaji were part of the language till like way, way later. Like way way late like I had no idea what I was learning guys like seriously, it's it's just studying these characters You didn't even know what they were from. Yeah, I had no idea. I was just studying him It was it was later that you know after I learned that there was katakana that had to be gone I wrote after like a lot of like a lot a lot of research. I realized oh this this is a Japanese language And I realized that did you just think it was all spoken? No, I, I was more interested in the writing cause it, it reminded me of the UFO. Is that when you had like the thousands upon thousands of flashcards? Yeah. Well, no, that was, that was when I was like fully dedicated to, to learn Japanese. Okay. Before I was listening to like podcasts and stuff. And about how old are you when you became fully dedicated to learning Japanese? Dude, I have no idea. Let me see. When you had all those cards, Becca and I were married. So maybe within the eight years. So, yeah. So maybe like halfway through like when I working with Travis, so I'm not sure when that was. So I was probably like 20. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I didn't, I didn't even realize that you'd moved to Japan. Like it wasn't until I started doing my ice baths and posting it on take talk that I was like, Oh my god. Well, that was his second time in japan. I wasn't his first time. That's that's what I didn't realize I had no idea you'd moved to japan. So when tyler told me I was like, no way what an experience I want to hear all about it. Yeah. Well, so also in the mormon religion Lots of people go on missions and learn different language and I was like, you know I I want to learn another language too. Like it was just something that was important to me like to learn another language unfortunately, I just You You know, happenstance shows like the most difficult language on the planet that has three different, you know, writing systems combined into one and is the exact opposite of English. You know, they speak backwards. They read backwards. Yeah. Yeah, they think backwards. Their math is backwards. Everything is backwards. It's confusing. It's all get out. Just because I thought these writing characters were interesting and I thought maybe it was a dead language or something, but no, it was Japanese. Very much alive. Yeah. A whole ton of people read and write it Britain's over here thinking he's gonna there's a whole country dedicated to it formed egyptian, but it turns out Oh, it's japanese No big deal. Just a side project. Yeah but yeah, I mean after I don't know. Yeah, it was just kind of a fun clathartic thing, you know to kind of go through these characters and It was like kind of like a brain exercise you know after graduating, you know high school and whatnot, so You yeah, but after learning enough, I was like, I got to keep learning this language, you know? So I decided to, I decided to go to Japan and I went to the cheapest place. I'm not even going to say the school guys, cause I, I, I hate this school, like the fiery burning passion. I don't think anybody should go there. But I did go to Hokkaido. Because it snows there and I wanted to see snow monkeys By the way guys turns out snow monkeys aren't even in hokkaido I was like, oh snow beautiful scenery. Let's go there. What the hell is a snow monkey? So they so japanese people they have onsens which are these hot springs that they all make for themselves They get in they bask together Yeah, and they were having problems with these monkeys getting in the onsens because they were copying the people and they're like, hey You This is kind of nice. So Obviously Japanese people don't want nasty gross monkeys in these onsens. Really? Look at that. Yeah. Oh, they're cool Yeah, Tyler's showing photos of the snow monkeys. Snow monkeys. Google snow monkeys. Snow monkeys in hot tubs, basically. Yeah Yeah, so you think this is like so they so they saw people do that and they're like we're gonna do that Yeah. Oh my god. This one like stole a cell phone. It's on a cell phone In a hot tub! That's awesome! Oh my gosh! I wish we could make that our content We can add it to the social media is when we decided to do social media. So basically they created another onsen separate for the, for the monkeys that keep them out of their onsens because you know, keep the night gross, you know, you don't want them in your, in your onsen. That's a hot tub, like a hot spring. Yeah. Like a hot tub hot on spring. Yeah. Hot spring. And they don't want to, it's, it's kind of harsh in winter. So, and they don't want the monkeys to die or whatever. So they'll throw like food out. But just to, you know, just enough like they don't want to get the monkeys fat and they don't want them to be relying on people. Right. So they throw out, you know, just enough food to keep the monkeys healthy because it's now a tourist attraction. And you're saying you didn't see any in Hokkaido. No, no, they're not even there. Yeah. So you went there for the purpose of seeing snow monkeys and there's no snow monkeys. Yeah. How stupid is that? I was so mad. Yeah, but what's crazy is that the second time that I went I was, you know, it was a little bit before we were leaving and I was like, Oh wait, there's snow. I was like, Yuki, we have to go see the snow monkeys because I've told her this before, but you know, we were, we were both working. We're busy. And it was, it literally took us almost, you know, these full three years to finally get settled with all the craziness, you know, cause I had to go to, because there was, cause I went there during COVID guys, like, and Japan and COVID and how strict they are with the rules. Holy shit. Like it was. Impossible to get through anything. So I'm not even going to talk about it. It was just a mess. Bad time to visit Japan. Yeah. So it was really hard to get everything set up and to get it, you know, the job and find all the banks because in Japan you don't choose your bank. The work tells you what bank that you're going to use. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So they'll say, Hey, we're going to pay you for us, but you're going to go to this. Yeah. But you're going to go to this bank. He had two jobs. So he has, Oh, this one's going to pay you amount of America. So you have to open up an account there, but this one's going to actually pay you at Wells Fargo. So you have to also open up an account there. Whoa. Yeah. So I had three banks because I had two jobs and they had two different banks, but I had to have another third bank, put them all together. Yeah, that helped me keep track of my money But that that third bank was the only bank that would send my money back and forth between America and Japan Oh, so I had three banks. So it was a pain in the butt to keep track of. I'd say yeah And the cost of living in Japan was way higher, wasn't it? Yeah So because I remember some of your tik tok videos was talking about things that you would enjoy in the US That was way more expensive in Japan Yeah, well, so So in every country there are random things that are expensive and cheaper than in your country and you're like well That's weird because in my country this costs this much here. It costs us. But so this time though, in japan, So the u. s dollar increased and the japanese yen dropped like to the lowest point that has ever been so so so I sent like You What should have been about 18, 000. It's now 11, 000. So I lost like 7, 000 just by sending my money from Japan. So I had like the worst period of time in history to move back to America. Oh, wow. This is money that he had earned in America. So this 18 grand, he sent it to Japan and then when he sent it back, it was now only worth, he lost it. And this was just recently. Yeah. Just like just now when you moved back. Yeah. Just now when I moved back. Gosh. Yeah. So. It hurts my heart. Let's let's rewind a little bit. So you decided to go to Japan the first time for, to go to school. That's for those who don't know, he was going there to study Japanese. It was a Japanese learning school. That experience was bad. So you don't have to talk too much about it. But I guess what were your feelings while you were there? And then what was it like when you came back? Okay. Well, so going originally, I was like, okay, so people are people. And so people aren't too different. Yeah. We speak different languages. We might think a little bit differently. Our cultures may be a little bit different. But overall people are people that was my thought process and so it can't be that different, you know But it is way more different like it is like if we didn't know each other existed. They would be aliens Okay, like it is so different You know here we hug each other They're they don't even touch each other you like I'm disrespectful that I shook Yuki's hand No, no, it's just it's just American. I didn't know what to do to show respect I was terrified because I don't know the traditions. Yeah. Well, I was like Does Yuki hug? Can I hug her? And he's like she does now well, cuz my thought process is that So I don't want to make people feel like that they have to try super hard to conform to another culture. Sure. Because that's also really hard and that's, that's also, you know, psychologically damaging, I think. But generally when you're in another country, you kind of conform to those, you know, the culture that you're in. It's respectful. Yeah. And yeah. So, so Yuki's kind of warming up to being hugged because, you know, we, we touch here. That would be a tough one to get over. Yeah. I mean, at least we're not in like, you know, you know, some like in Chile where they kiss you at every party. Yeah. When you walk in and there's 20 people, you're kissing 20 people. Exactly. And they're not kissing you on your face or. Yeah. In Africa, they're always shaking you with both hands. Don't they wipe with one of them? No, no, no, no. They don't shake with that hand. But to show, like, extra respect. They would you just said they don't shake with a hand. They would shake with a hand. Oh, I shake my hand. Okay This is like that's when you reach out and shake my hands like a friend and then they touch their hand Oh, and that's the respect. They're not giving like more respect or sometimes they go over the top Interesting that's not masonry and then they go over the top to show more respect as in like I'm giving All of my limbs to you, but I don't need to like grab you. It's just like, yeah, you know, it's a form of respect. Yeah, it's like a full body thing. Yeah. I mean, I'm here with you. I'm submitting to you. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. It's yeah, it's kind of like that in Japan, but they just there's just no touching, you know Now i'm like thinking back my trip on japan for business and I was literally shaking everybody's hand like this Well, yeah, so I just remember the funny videos I got from you in karaoke in japan Yeah, so especially for business like if, if you're white, essentially they expect to shake your hand. Right. Like, so it's not too weird for them, but it might be weird for you because they just go limp and it's really weird. Well, the weird part for me was they all gave me a business card and then they bowed and I was like, Oh, thank you for your business card. And I just shoved it in my pocket. But you're supposed to stare at it in gratitude for like 20 minutes. It's just, and I didn't know that. And so I just 20 minutes disrespect. Well, not like he's exaggerating. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But they want you to just like stare at it like, Oh, yes, You want you to look over at it. Yeah. But I didn't do that. I was like, Oh, thank you. This is dope. And I put it in my pocket and I'm like, Oh, I just disrespected the freaking CEO of Johnson and Johnson. Yeah. Whoops. Yeah. So it. They still have like business cards and it's like It's their life. Like it's their livelihood. This is what they do for a living They've probably been doing this job like after they ever since they graduated college, you know, like so it It's your basic a lot to them. Yeah, it's like you're giving your heart and your life to somebody else. It's so You're supposed to take the card, you look at it, like, you know, you'd grab it with both hands. So they, they, they take out their card, they grab it with both hands and they like bow and like hand it to you. And you're supposed to grab it with like much respect and be like, Oh, thank you so much. Like, this is like the greatest day of my life kind of thing, you know? And you take it and you're supposed to look at it and be like, Oh yes, like this is going to be so useful for me. Thank you so much for sharing your business and your livelihood with me. And you say that for like a minute. Yeah. Yeah. And you're not supposed to put it away. Until either you're like out of their line of sight or you've turned around and the conversation has ended and then you can put it In its specific card holder. Yeah, then you can put it into a proper Holding place in your wallet. So it feels like there's a lot of cultural things in japan That if you didn't know you would never know. Yeah. So how would you learn those things while you were there? So you're there for what, three years? Well, so I was stupid. So I was like, you know, people normally, they watch like Americans are, yeah, they watch YouTube videos and they learn all these things. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to, to enjoy the experience and learn these things by mistake, right? Don't do that. That's stupid. I'm telling you, the culture is so different. You want to learn as much as you possibly can before going there because it just makes life hard if you don't. Is that what happened? Is that why the experience was bad? That first go around. Well Kind of it was like so you show up And there's like distance like it's not even like physical distance. It's like psychological distance So there's like a sense of loneliness and like emptiness like you've never experienced before They do say that americans are taller. Is that true? Did you kind of stick out there? Yeah, we we do tend to be a bit taller but Me so i'm like 5 10. I say 5 11 on a good day. But You I think Yeah, like most, most are, maybe my size are a little bit shorter you know, men specifically are about my size, a little bit shorter. But they do have tall people, so it's not like they're significantly shorter than us or anything. It's, but there's a height difference, especially with the women, the women are, are definitely do have a huge height difference even in Japan, amongst men. So, okay. So you're going through your experience there. You're trying to learn the cultures and customs and you learn the hard and the language cause he's literally the first trip. Yeah. Yeah. So it was, so I show up to my dorms, you know, the first time this kid shows up, he's So the lady, so I'm like, okay, this isn't too bad. Cause I had learned a little bit of language before I went and I'm in like the taxi going to the dorm and the lady's like, Oh, do you speak Japanese? And like, I can understand. And so I'm like, Oh yes. And it's squishy, you know, like very, very basic. Like, it just means a little bit. That's like, all I can say is Scotchie basically. And she goes, Oh, she starts taking me in Japanese. I'm like. Sorry, I'm not, I'm not there, you know? And so we just wrote in silence and it was really awkward. And I felt bad because I couldn't, you know, I tried really hard to speak some, some Japanese and she's like, I don't understand. When I got out, I was like, I was like, I got this. I know the word nimotsu, which means luggage. I was like, I know, I know the word luggage. And I was going to ask her a question about the luggage. Can I take in the language myself? Or cause I also have like my Japanese phrase book and I looked at phrases and I was like, I got this, you know, and she had no idea what I was talking about and I can't even remember what I said, but yeah, I was like. Do I take my luggage in or do I leave it here? Like, what, what, what should I do? You know, cause it was just, the roads are very different. It's just, it's just different. Oh, no. So I was just curious, like, I don't want to be rude. Like just get out and try to open the trunk or whatever, you know? Right. Yeah. And anyways, the, the. The dorm that the lady at the dorm that like runs the dorm she comes out, you know She helps me bring the luggage inside and She starts kind of giving me the rundown and i'm kind of understanding i'm like, okay, okay I got she's doing this in japanese. Yeah, and i'm like, okay, I got this like I can learn this stuff Like i'm like i'm kind of understanding what she's saying this American guy kid comes down from the dorms. He's he's literally like the only other american kid that was there He comes down and he gives You're like, who's this guy? And she's like, Oh, he's American. He can help translate for you because he's been here like a year or whatever. And so he's like, Oh, do you need help? I'm like, no, actually I think I'm doing okay. You know, he's like, okay, well I'm going to help you. And he starts translating things wrong. So she's like, you know, we go upstairs, you're like, Oh, this is the sink. You can, you know, fill up your water here, get, you know, drink from here or whatever. He goes, don't drink from this water. This is, this is only for like sanitation or whatever. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not what she said. Like, I'm brand new to Japan. Like, I have no idea what's happening. And he's, he's like, he's messing with me, you know, and he, he thinks it's funny and I'm like, okay, like, you know, I, I know he's messing with me and it's, it's not a big deal. Like, whatever. We can laugh it off later. Oh, this guy was a dickhead. Seriously. He was so rude. Like, yeah, he, he would, and like at school They had him translate for the English people that would come for like the, like Basically like family gatherings, you know people would come in and try to see what it's what's happening at the school And he was supposed to translate for english speakers that are there and he translated everything incorrectly And my chinese friend, so I made a chinese friend and he was like, you know, like a door to down for me And he was really tall. He was really tall and I was like, oh, do you hit your head a lot? He's like all the time Because like I was like ducking down things I was like, oh you got it you got it hard man your life is so hard Yeah, if you're tall in japan, like don't even bother like just go home man I'm not that tall but I feel like I was hitting my head on the ceiling. Yeah Yeah, I'm like, I'm like medium size, you know, and you know, like almost basically normal in Japan and like, I can't, like, I just like, it's so hard. Yeah, so he's my, my Chinese friend. He's like, who, who is that guy? He's like, is he American? I'm like, yeah, he's American. He's like, Oh, cause he was translating things really weird. Like I couldn't understand what he was talking about. And I was like, yeah, cause cause he could speak English a little bit, you know, but he wasn't sure if the translation was incorrect or if he was just was bad at English. Yeah. Right. So I was like, Yeah, I think he was just translating poorly. And he, he just gave everybody attitude. Like he just had a really bad attitude towards everybody. So I tried my best to stay and you'd like, try this, like spread rumors around me, you know, about me or whatever. So he's like, to like the dorm ladies, he's like, what did he say? I can't even remember. He said something to Oh, yeah, so like the dorm lady was really nice. She was like trying to help me out with like learning Japanese and he's like, Oh yeah, in school we call him baka or like stupid or whatever. And so he's like, Oh, so it's, it's stupid. And stupider basically talking to the dorm lady, telling her that she's really stupid and can't learn English. Cause I was helping her with her English. And so, so he's just, but, but, but yeah, it's, it's not, it's not me. It's not like I was, you know, doing bad in school or whatever. It was just, he's just being a dickhead to everybody. So I was like, man, like, and there's nothing you can do to people like that. You know, they're just like, you know, you just try to ignore them, you know? And yeah, just Hokkaido is also really small. It's like, so all the, the, the buildings are really close together and you see the sun almost never, like, I, I swear, like I only saw the, the sun like three or four times. Like how long Were first time? The entire time? A year. A year? Okay. Yeah. I saw the sun three to four times. Yeah. Geez. That's depressing. And, and when it comes out it's like, oh my gosh. Japan is beautiful. Like this is the most gorgeous land I've ever seen. Mm-Hmm. And then it's gone Oh. And I'm like, it is so depressing. And I got so depressed there because I wasn't, there's not even snow monkeys. Yeah. There's not even snow monkeys. I'm not kidding. My vitamin D. This guy's a dickhead. Yeah. Yeah. And, it's so Japanese people like almost impossible to make friends with like it's if you don't drink like you're not gonna have friends in Japan Like you just not because that's what they social time. Yeah, that's what they do If you if you get together with people you're drinking. Yeah, so I mean in my experience in Japan We worked all day and at the end of the day They brought food and alcohol to the office And then as soon as you started finishing the food and alcohol you then went to a bar And drink more alcohol or went to karaoke and drink alcohol and sing Yeah I mean they I know they work really really hard. So it also makes sense to me that they'd play really really hard. They do. Yeah Yeah, it's just one of those cultural difference because you want to play with the people that you work with, you know, right? Yeah It draws closer bonds. Yeah that's interesting you said that because I remember asking, like, do you guys have other friends? And they're like, no, it's basically people. I've heard about that in different cultures that typically their friend group or the group that they're allowed to be friends with are the people that they also work with. Yeah. And it's hard to find friends in other groups just because you don't spend as much time with them as you do around the people that you work with. Yeah. And yeah, friendships in Japan also a little bit weird cause like, like you meet with your friend and you're like, Oh, Hey, it's so nice to meet you. I haven't seen you in, you know, six months or whatever. Here's this present that I got when I did this thing or, and they're like, Oh yeah, here's this gift, you know? And it's like, it's almost like a formal like friendship and it's so weird. That's cool though. Yeah. But yeah. So, I mean it, it feels a little more natural now to me, Yeah. But. Yeah, it was, it's definitely really different. So if you don't have like a wife or somebody that you're living with or family out there, honestly, I would recommend not even going to Japan. Like if you're, if you're hyped up, you're wanting to learn the language. I'm just sorry, like, just don't go, like, you're not gonna have a good time, you know, unless you have like you know, Japanese blood ties, if you have a darker skin color, and you can kind of pass off as being Japanese, just don't go, like, if you're white, just don't go, it's not worth it. Was there, so, the way you said that, it sounded like being white. You had negativity towards you? Yeah, you used to kind of have like a target on your back. Like people instantly have like this idea of like how you behave. So, for example, when Yuki was looking for an apartment for us the what was it guys? Like an apartment manager? Yeah, like the apartment manager was like well, I, I don't know if we can put you in here or not because I don't know what the other tenants think. And so Yuki is like, well, he's really, you know, well behaved basically. And so you're like, okay, I'll go ask what your neighbor might think. And so they go and ask the neighbor like, Hey, if we put, you know, a foreigner in here, is that going to be okay? And he's like, Oh, I don't want to have parties next door, next door all the time. And Yuki's like, Oh no, he's not like that. He doesn't party. Okay. Because they just see what, what's on TV about, you know American Pie, Americans. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Americans partying. Yeah. And she's like, what? Like Yeah. Like, you know, you come from America to Japan, you're not gonna know anybody who do you, who are you partying with? Yeah, that's good. That's a good point. Yeah. That's, it's just, it's not a thing. Yeah. So there's just like, so there's just a lot of cultural respect. Yeah. And when I went. To, so here's a, here's a a tip. If you do go to Japan, if, if like the, the manager's taking you to your room to show you. And he opens the door and he stands there waiting for you to go inside. He's waiting to see if you take your shoes off. If you don't take your shoes off, you're not gonna get that room. Oh, okay. He's testing you. And I, so I stood there and I was like, Oh, I'll have a Yuki go in. Cause I, I'm not playing this game. Like it's, it drives me nuts. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not playing this racist game. Like, just you think I'm stupid. I don't know to take off my shoes in Japan. Everybody knows to take off your shoes in Japan. Literally everyone. Yeah. You took off your shoes just to have this podcast. Yes. Like, so I wait there for you to go in and Yuki doesn't move. And I'm like, okay, well you go in. And he's like, I'm not moving. I'm like, I hate all of you. So I, yeah, so I go in and I'm kind of, you know, sarcastic about it. I, I turn around, I take my shoes off and I properly place them. Cause Yeah. Cause I knew that's what he was doing. Like, And then, and not only that, when we were in I was like, okay, so because the Japanese buildings are set up a little bit different and there's like this weird little cutout in the kitchen. I was like, okay, so is this where the refrigerator goes? Because it was, it was really long. It wasn't like, you know, an obvious spot for a refrigerator. So I was like, does the refrigerator go here? And Yuki goes, Oh, I'll ask. She asked him, he's like, Oh, does the refrigerator go here? And he goes, don't bother. You can't afford it. And I thought that's what he said, but I was relatively new. So I was like, okay, I'm just hearing wrong. I don't want to assume things. And Yuki looks at me and like, are you going to do anything like what? And I just went on as normal. Cause I wasn't a hundred percent certain what he said or not. And later she told me that I was like. but why let's not stay there. I, but that's ridiculous dude. And she's like, I'm tired of looking for apartments. And I was like, okay, I get it. You know, is it the one you were most recently in? Yeah. So you've got that one. Yeah. Yeah. We did get that one. And you did have a refrigerator. Yes. And we did have a refrigerator. Yeah. We had this out exactly. We had a refrigerator. We've got ourselves a washing machine. We got ourselves beds. You know, we're civilized people here. Surprising. And how many parties did you throw? Zero, actually. Yeah. strange. An American not throwing parties. Well, actually we did. We had some, we actually had a you know, a quote unquote party. It's like a Japanese style party. We, we had Yuki's cousin come over and we made her a takoyaki, which is like squid inside like these like baked rolls that you roll them on a thing. It's like a cake. Squid inside or whatever. Okay. So tell us about Yuki because we've talked about her a lot on this podcast Yeah, so you went you went to japan You left japan And then you somehow ran into yuki met yuki Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, so I had a horrible experience in japan. I was like Yeah, I don't know so I came back I wasn't really sure what to do with my life, you know and Anyway, so I but I felt like You I, I, I don't like Japan anymore. Like I, I'm. You're done with japan. Yeah, i'm so over it like over it beyond over and still to the to this day I'm over japan. Like i'm not i'm not interested in japan and Not that the japan is a horrible place or anything Like japan is a wonderful place like it has beautiful, you know scenery to go see like if you want to go see something Really cool go to japan But living in japan is something very different. It's it's really difficult. And So I felt like it was a waste though, not to continue learning Japanese. So I had a Japanese language exchange app and I was just, you know, just typing in Japanese every day. And I was like, I was learning more Japanese from this app than I was at school. So I was like, man, I, I really wasted my time in Japan. And anyways, basically, I, I'm I met Yuki on this app. Because, you know, she posted a couple things, and I was like, I think I saw her like one time before, and I just, you know, skipped past, and but I think she came up again one other time, and I was like, hmm, okay, because this person posts kind of interesting things, but, like, they're so, like, Proper and like detail oriented. Like she's clearly very intelligent and I don't even know how to start a conversation with like her posts. So it's like, you know, the, at the very best you can do is like, like the post and be like, yeah, that's a really good job. Like, like you did everything perfect, like good job. And it's funny because she's still like this, like she'll, she'll like spend days constructing the English. So, because in Japan, you can't, you can't be wrong. Like you can't be honest. And that also made it really difficult to teach Japanese in Japan. It's because especially if they're in groups, they won't even try to speak English because if they say it incorrectly. Like they're like ridiculed or looked down upon so in japan Even if you don't know the question if the teacher asks you a question you raise your hand So you just hope and pray that the teacher doesn't call on you and make you look like an idiot The whole the whole class raises their hand. Yeah, everybody raises their hands. Yeah Whereas like here in the u. s You only raise your hand if you know the answer. Wow. Yeah. Or, or even if you do know the answer, you might not raise your hand. pressure. Yeah. Yeah. And that they, they, they put your score up for everybody on display and they rank you among all the students. So if you're like halfway or below, you're not a, you're, you're not very good. Like you're kind of, you're not in the cool kid. Yeah. You want to, you want to have a high score and you want to act like you're not trying. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. I forgot, I just, I forgot what I was talking Uki. You're talking about how she's spending hours on construction in English. Yeah. I didn't realize that though. I was like, Oh, you're just liking her posts to try and give her subliminal messages about you. No, no, no, no. I wasn't even doing that. I was just like, you know, this kind of like this, these girls posts because like, she has like photos of like these Playmobil toys, like in like you know, that she's like taken outside and put on like a rock or something or put next to like a bug or something. I'm like, this person's weird. I like that. And so I was like, okay, you know, so the second time I see her, I'm like, okay. So I look on her her page and on, on hello talk, you know, this app you get to record your voice and give you a self introduction. And so I'm listening to her self introduction and it's just like, He hasn't memorized it. And then you're in love. And then, yeah, basically. So I was like, I have to talk to this girl. Yeah. That's the most beautiful snore I've ever heard. Exactly. So I sent her a message and I was like, you know, your self introduction is you snoring. You fell asleep with your phone. And She's, I can't even, I wish I could, cause I still have it on my phone, but it would, it's clear at the top. It's like years and years ago. So it would take forever to find it. But she responded like the strangest thing like ever. And I was like, I like her. So I was like, okay. So I was like, so I respond something weird back or whatever and basically try to have a conversation. And we start having, Like a really weird conversation. And I think we're just like feeling out like whether or not the other person's like a psycho or not. And yeah. And Anyways, we start, like, she starts, like, sharing, like, photos of, like, these really scary movies. Like like, there's one of, like, this weird bush baby that's, like, made of, like, this stump of, like, a tree or something. And it, like, eats somebody's, like, hair. And it's just, like, super creepy. Like, super, super creepy. And it's like, I've never seen this. This lady's insane. And, like, she shares, like, other scary photos. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Okay, that was not in an appropriate response to what I just said, but Cool. Yeah, I was like I was like get weird, but I kill me. Yeah, but in some way I felt like she was like deliberately trying to like scare you away not not necessarily scare me away, but like Well, yeah, maybe, maybe scare me, but like stifle the conversation and like, like, like, like self sabotage kind of self sabotage the conversation. And I kind of picked up on that. So I kept, you know, talking back and forth for her. And at some point she kind of calmed down and. We started talking like kind of normal, you know, it's normal as you know, Yuki and I could possibly be Our conversations were really weird But yeah, it's like I kind of like this girl And so we just started talking and we talked for like two or three years before I was like, hey, let's talk Let's go to Japan or maybe you could come here like I want to meet you but then COVID happened and I was like Well, that sucks. Like I can't and Yeah, so I was like, okay, you know what? I've gone to japan before it'll be easier for me to go to japan and meet you. And I know it's kind of kind of weird. It's like most people would be like, you know Just move on to another girl or whatever And but no, I, I tried really hard and I went out to meet Yuki and yeah, she was just as weird as in text and writing. And yeah, it was great. I, you know what I love about that? So I just asked you or said to Yuki tonight, I said, I really like you. Thank you so much for loving my brother and taking care of him. He is such a weirdo. Thank you for just, thank you for loving him. She says. Oh, I, his weirdness is, is what I love about him. And it almost made me and Brett Beckham break out in tears. Like it was just the most adorable response in the world. And watching you two together, you are Perfect for each other and it's weird. I was talking about he's like, I know they're both so slow getting ready And I didn't think there was anybody slower than Britain And they're like the same. It's wild. Yeah, it's yeah It's really cuz like I always had like this idea that like I really like a relationship shouldn't be difficult Mm hmm, and it wasn't it was like so easy and even Yuki was like This feels weird like is it supposed to be this easy? Like like we're like getting married like signing these forms and we're like, okay. Well, we're married now You didn't even tell us also get a text like you didn't even text me you text mom You're like, oh by the way, Yuki and I got married. We're like, what the heck? Okay, not only that but nobody told me that you're married either So I found out when I found out you lived in Japan because Tyler's like hey, I'm gonna go see Britain in Japan I was like, oh, that's cool. I was like wait, he lives in Japan. He's like, yeah, and he's married. I'm like, oh Okay, well cuz my I don't know why like I probably wasn't like thinking Clearly, clearly about like how, you know, we're thinking here in the U S I was just like, okay, well we can get married and then we can have a formal thing later and tell everybody we're getting married or something, you know, like I'd have like a formal proposal or whatever. Yeah. Like we still don't even have rings for each other. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But we've been married for like almost two years. Me and Kyler don't wear rings either. Yeah, I mean. Sorry, Becca. Becca doesn't wear hers either, though. I know, I'm super married. To be fair, though, like, I worked in, like, the kitchen, so I wasn't even allowed to wear jewelry anyways. Right. And I probably would have lost it, so and Yuki was like, oh, I don't, I don't want a ring or whatever, and I was like, what if we, like, but she was like, oh, I'll take, like, you know, like, those makeshift wings that you make out of, like, grass or whatever. Oh, yeah. I'm like, okay, well, that won't last forever, but. Mm hmm. But yeah, it was just so easy and she's like this is so weird like and so it was like it was weird because like she Would like deliberately try to cause conflict and I think it was just because she was bored Like she was like, this is just fun to see. Yeah, she wants to see how I react or something Yeah, and but by this time you're so deep in meditation that you're like, oh I got this Little wax on wax off. Yeah Well, it's really funny because she says that I have anger issues You But I'm like I feel like I'm like compared to most people I'm like the calmest person ever, you know, like Like I'll take people's crap, you know, like beyond like the breaking point So I don't know about you now, but you used to try to kill me. Yeah. Well It's all lies lies You know what? I love I love your vibe because I always I just feel more tranquil around you Like like yeah, I love hanging out with you because I just feel more relaxed. It's like sitting on the sea with no waves like just glass water i'm like man britain for me is just like tranquility and peace and I just feel You So much more refreshed after hanging around you that's it I want to add in that like it makes sense now as an adult like looking back and raising kids now and Looking at you Britain and the way that we were raised and you were always like pressured and hurried to move faster and quicker But it was really never a necessity for there every once in a while. Maybe but you just moved at a slower pace and you just saw life better. And I saw something recently about, Hey, it's, it's not good to push your kids because of your own anxiety of trying to get something done faster. You don't need to get it done faster. And so, and this is, this is coming from my brother who was always older. He was basically like a second dad to my sister and I, yeah, he's pretty bossy. And now he has his own kids. And Yuki was like, Tyler is more like a dad. I was like, yeah, he kind of treated us like another dad sometimes. Well, especially when it got hard in like the later years with mom and dad, I was like, all right, I guess I will try and do things. Yeah. Well, Sorry, what were we even talking about? Yeah, no, sorry for the Oh, sorry, we were, we were actually talking about Yuki, and you were saying how you guys are both perfectly weird for each other. Oh, yeah, it's easy. Yeah. Yeah. She's almost self sabotaged. It's funny, because you were saying that, like, I'm so calm. Oh, yeah. Like, the entire, like, first half of this conversation, I was like Anxiety like I felt like my voice was like shaking and I was like, oh my gosh I couldn't tell are you talking about just starting the podcast? Yeah, sorry That's because you're telling the coolest story ever. Yeah, crazy story. If you haven't listened to part one of britain Go back and listen to it where you can learn more about ufos and non abducting children. You're gonna want to Britton it's been an absolute pleasure to have you on the podcast. It's been so cool It's been so cool to listen to your perspective You I want to hear what would be your best piece of advice given to our listeners. Hmm. That's a hard one cause I feel like I'm not someone to give advice for anything. But I don't know. I just, just, it's like, I don't know. I just take life as it comes, I guess. Cause you don't go with the flow. And try your best to not believe anything. I don't, I don't know. That's, that's all I can really say. It's beautiful. Follow your heart. Yeah. Yeah. Like water off a duck's back. Ying. Ying. Well, let me tell you the final joke that Reed told me. Let's hear it. Does that have to do with poop? Has to do with a duck. Yeah. Oh, even better. So, why does a duck have tail feathers? Okay, why? To cover its butt quack. See, I was concerned when I walked up to the doorstep and it said poop on the front porch, so. That was me. All right. Thank you all for listening to the Islay Perspective. This is awesome because we've just had a three part series with Tyler's brother, Britton, who just moved back from Japan. It was cool to go through his whole story. Micro parts of his story. Yeah, I was gonna say that's a small fraction of his story But we will have to do another one and remote him to talk more about this This is like reminding me of like joe dirt where he's having his interview. You're right Your your story couldn't be told in one day Very true So we'll definitely be having britton back on because we can do it remotely now. So that's really nice. Oh, yeah thank you all for listening. And if you want to be on the podcast, hit us up at the either perspective at gmail. com. Remember love everybody as much as you can take care of them and don't be afraid to change. Take it easy.